Error Jokes / Recent Jokes
Santa was having trouble with his computer. So he called the computer guy, over to his desk.
He clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, Santa called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an "ID ten T" error."
A puzzled expression ran over Santa's face. "An "ID ten T" error? What's that?.. in case I need to fix it again."
"Haven't you ever heard of an "ID ten T" error before?"
"No," replied Santa.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
He wrote... I D 1 0 T
It says: "Press Any Key"
It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."
It says: "Press A Key"
(This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.)
It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error
no. 1A4-2546512430E" It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."
It says: "Installing program to C:...."
It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:windows and c:windowssystem where you'll NEVER find them."
It says: "Please insert disk 11"
It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks."
It says: "Not enough memory"
It means: "I don't CARE
Computer Messages: what they say and what they mean by it
Press Any Key.
Press any key you like but I'm not moving.
Press A Key.
Nothing happens unless you press the' A' key.
Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no.
1A4-2546512430E...
... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem.
Installing program to C:...
... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:windows and
c:windowssystem where you'll NEVER find them.
Not enough memory.
I don't CARE if you've got 64 MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K.
Cannot read from drive D:...
... however, if you put the CD in right side up...
Please Wait...
... indefinitely.
Directory does not exist...
.... any more. Woops.
The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or more...
Recently the following undocumented Windows 98 error-codes were found. Microsoft forgot to explain them in the manuals, so they will be spread via the Internet:
WinErr: 001
Windows loaded - System in danger
WinErr: 002
No Error - Yet
WinErr: 003
Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
WinErr: 004
Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong
WinErr: 005
Multitasking attempted - System confused
WinErr: 006
Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
WinErr: 007
System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware
WinErr: 008
Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
WinErr: 009
Horrible bug encountered - God only knows what has happened
WinErr: 00A
Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
WinErr: 00B
Inadequate disk space - Free at least 500MB
WinErr: 00C
Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!
WinErr: 00D
Window closed - Do not look more...
In March 1992 a man living in Newton near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0. 00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away too.
The following month the credit card company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his card if he didn't send them $0. 00 by return of post. He called them, talked to them, they said it was a computer error and told him they'd take care of it.
The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome credit card figuring that if there were purchases on his account it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However, in the first store that he produced his credit card in payment for his purchases he found that his card had been cancelled. He called the credit card company who apologized for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.
The more...
Microsoft is trying to add some humor to its error messages in Windows 2000 and up. Here are a couple of examples:
* Printer not responding; Got a pen and paper handy?
* 3 things are certain in life: Taxes, death, and data loss.
Guess which has occured?
Microsoft announced it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows.
Acknowledging for the first time ever that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is attempting to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression.
"We estimate that throughout the world, at any given moment, several million people are getting a 'general protection fault' or 'illegal operation' warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror. He also mentioned that Microsoft is intending to add banner ads into its Blue Screen of Death in the very near future.
The Justice Department immediately indicated they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its more...