Escaped Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were 3 guys that escaped from jail. They were out the gates and and almost to freedom. Suddenly a Guard walks out. The 3 guys that escaped said' we got to split up or he will find us!'. So the guys split up....... The guard walked by a tree and heard some rattling, The guard said whos there? WHO WHO The 1st escapee said. The guard said shoo, its just an owl. He started walking again
suddenly he heard a second tree move, he said whos there? ARF ARF The 2nd escapee said. The guard said shoo, its just a dog. So the guard was walking by a potato field. Suddenly he heard a sound. The guard said whos there. The 3rd escapee said P--O--T--A--T--O!
HINT < Hes acting like a potato. >

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place' the
prison' and call my private thing' the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on more...

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin, and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison."
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey, the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes, but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally more...

A young man worked at an aquarium feading the animals, cleaning the tanks and the like. One day his boss came to him and said, "We have a group of second-graders coming for a field trip in about thirty minutes and the dolphins are getting 'playful'. The only thing that will make the dolphins behave is baby seagull meat. I want you to take this bag and go down to the beach and get some baby seagulls, but be careful because a lion has escaped from the zoo. They say it's been shot with a tranq gun so it shouldn't be a problem."
So, the young man took the bag, made his way down to the beach and got the seagulls with no problem. He decided to take the short cut through the woods on his way back. Suddenly, as he rounded a bend in the path, he saw the escaped lion laying across the path ahead of him, apparently sleeping.
The bushes were rather thick at this point, so he had only two choices: go past the lion or back the way he came. He decided he didn't have enough time to more...

Three trained dolphins escaped from their performing pen at a resort in Key Largo, Florida. They were discovered several days later in a lagoon off Key Biscayne, some 55 miles distant.
At 10 a.m., 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. they performed tricks, apparently hoping to be fed on their Key Largo schedule.