Eternal Jokes / Recent Jokes

The eternal porpoises lived in a landlocked lake along the Ivory Coast of Africa. At one time the lake had been connected to the Gulf of Guinea; now the only way they could feed on the baby sea gulls that enabled them to live forever was if the natives of the Ngubi tribe captured them in the gulf and brought them to the lake.
The natives performed this sacred duty for centuries but lately lions had taken to hunting the valley that led from the Ngubi lands to the shore. Thus it became necessary for the natives to spend a great deal of time distilling and manufacturing a sleeping potion which, with tremendous care, the bravest of the Ngubi warriors dispensed via poison dart before making their way through the valley.
Unfortunately, this process put an enormous drain on the treasury of the tribe. Not only was the poison costly to make, but the time the warriors spent putting the lions to sleep should have been used for hunting. Thus, the chief was forced to put a new law on the more...

Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
Roseanne Barr:
Urrrrrp. What chicken?
George Bush:
To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.
Julius Caesar:
To come, to see, to conquer.
Candide:
To cultivate its garden.
Bill the Cat:
Oop Ack.
Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Moses:
Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.
Joseph Conrad:
Mistah Chicken, he dead.
Howard Cosell:
It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapiens pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.
Salvador Dali:
The Fish.
Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the more...

Here is an electronic gadget that much prized by Japanese women. Many regard the Pucki Pucki noise an antidote to stress.
Bubble-wrap, Pucki Pucki, Poppety-Pop, call it what you will, bursting these bubbles provides harmless pleasure for office workers.& Japan has seen a craze for an electronic toy that recreates the thrill of squeezing the plastic packaging material. Bandai sell them for about $10, for that you get a gizmo, battery and a pack of 10 bubble wraps.
`Eternal Poppety-Pop` fits on a keyring and the electronic gizmo makes an endless supply of plastic bubbles.& Will and Guy are astonished to learn that three million of the Eternal Poppety-Pop gadgets have been sold in Japan.&
Other gadgets include scented bubble wrap, heart-shaped bubble wrap and high-pressure bubble wrap, designed to produce an extra loud pop when its bubbles are burst.&
The parent company Bandai is not sitting back on its laurels, but trying to generate the next craze.& They are more...