Europe Jokes / Recent Jokes

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5, 000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the banks underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him $5, 000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the banks doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5, 000 in principal, and $15. 40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow? The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15. 40?"

A young, blonde woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. Just as she was about to jump, a young sailor came by and saw her sobbing and tottering on the edge of the pier.
Taking pity on her, he said, "Listen, no matter how bad things may seem, you have a lot to live for. I'm heading to Europe in the morning and, if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I promise I'll take very good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he put his arm around her and continued, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
Feeling she didn't have anything to lose, the blonde agreed to his suggestion.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, each night he brought her sandwiches and fruit and they made passionate love until dawn.
During a routine inspection two weeks later, the ship's Captain discovered her. "What are you doing here?" he more...

During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not find a seat. He was dead on his feet and walked the length of the train looking for any place to sit down.
Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking, older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her. “Could I please sit in that seat? ” he asked.
The lady was insulted. “You bloody Americans are so rude”, she said, “can’t you see my dog is sitting there”?
He walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat. He found himself back at the same place.
“Lady I love dogs - have a couple at home - so I would be glad to hold your dog if I can sit more...

Three leprechans die and go to heaven.
The first one asks god "Are there any midget nuns in Ireland?" God said "No son, there are no midget nuns in Ireland" The second leprechan starts to giggle and the third one hushes him.
The first one asks god again " Are there any midget nuns in all of Europe?" God said "No son, there are no midget nuns in all of Europe" The second one laughs louder and the third one hushes him again.
So the first one asks "Are there any midget nuns in the whole world?" God replied "No son, there are no miget nuns in all of the world."
So this time the third one cracks up and the second one says "See, i told you, you fucked a penguin!"

>A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her
>life by throwing herself into the
>ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed
>her tears, took pity on her, and
>said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the
>morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on
>my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
>Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her
>shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
>
>The girl nodded yes, after all, what did she have to lose? That night,
>the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in
>a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches
>and a piece of fruit, and they made
>passionate love until dawn.
>
>Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the
>captain.' What are you doing here?' more...

A maadu named Hariharan lived in New York city. Once he went to a bank to request a loan of $5000 as he was about to leave for a business trip to Europe. The bank agreed for the loan but asked for a guarantee. The maadu immediately handed the bank manager the keys to his brand new rolls royce that was parked downstairs. The bank people agreed and parked the rolls royce in their parking lot. The maadu took the $5000 and went to Europe. He returned after a week. The bank asked him $12.50 interest on the loan. The maadu payed the amount and the interest and was about to leave before the bank manager stopped him for a minute. The manager told the maadu that he was pleased to do business with the maadu but he also told that, 'sir, we checked your accounts and we came to know that you are a millionaire, then why did you borrow just $5000 from us?' the maadu replied,' it's not the $5000 that matter, what matters is that I couldn't have found a parking for my car in $12.50 for 1 week.'

Poland, in the days before democracy settled down, went through times as bad as anywhere in Europe. After centuries of occupation by so many nations, being free from the Russian yoke was a weird experience; Poland emerged blinking into the bright lights of democracy and freedom.

Of course it was not like that at all; Poles knew what freedom was, and took to it like children in a sweet shop. But there were problems, and the shortages did not disappear overnight. .. So when his last light bulb burned out, Old Stefan knew he'd have to stand in line for two hours at the store (and there would probably be none left by the time he got to the front of the queue). So he went up into his attic and started rummaging around for an old oil lamp he vaguely remembered from decades ago.

He found the old brass lamp in a corner, stained with grime of ages. He started to polish it and a Genie appeared in cloud of smoke.

"Hello, Mortal!" said the Genie, more...