Archangel Jokes

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to more...

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different more...

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River, looking across at the promised land. The Archangel Michael was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River." As Michael saw their perplexed looks, he reassured them by saying, "Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned, the more you will sink into the water."The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who would be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River.Finally, George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking that all of his sins were coming back to haunt him. He was more...

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. "I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and more...

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, "Where were you?". God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds; look my child, look what Ive just finished making. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said what is it? God replied, "its another planet, but this time, I ve decided to put LIFE on it. Ive named it earth and theres going to be a balance between evertyhing on it. For example, theres North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and South America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them - thats going to be a hot spot. Now look over here. Ive put a continent of white people in the North and another one of black people in the South". And then the archangel said, "and whats that long white line there?" And God said "ahhh thats the land of the long white cloud - Aotearoa - (New more...