European Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Hindu gets on a plane and sits next to a European.
As the plane takes off, he unrolls a wrapper containing Hindu vegetarian food which smells so much that the European's nose twitches.
He turns to the man and says, "Food India" with a grin.
He then takes out a container containing the foulest smelling liquid and again the man at the side has a twitching nose.
He grins sheepishly at the man and says, "Sorry. Drink India"
He then proceeds with his meal.
As soon as he has finished he farts. It is a loud, long fart.
He grins sheeepishly and says, "Air India"

What European capital has the most ghosts? Boodapest!

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"
Operator: "Doesn't the product give you a clue?"

Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it more...

Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be
administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations. In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter. There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was more...

An old lady joins a package tour to Europe. Many European restrooms have coin operated stalls. Daiwanlang consider it a virtue to be frugal, and so a group of Daiwan women tourists come up with an idea: by not pulling the door all the way to a lock, then the whole group can all use the same stall one after another on just one coin. To do this, when one woman uses the stall, the next one would spot her right outside. The old lady is the last one in the group to use the stall, and nobody remembers to spot her. Then, a European woman comes in, sees that stall is unlocked and enters. This catches both women by surprise, and the European woman quickly apologizes by saying "I'm sorry." When the old lady is furious when she gets out of the restroom. She says, "You wouldn't believe how rude this white woman was!" "Not only did she open the door on me," "she blamed me for not locking the door!"

In order for UNIX(tm) to survive, it must get rid of
its intimidating commands and outmoded jargon, and become compatible with
the existing standards of our day. To this end, our technicians have come
up with a new version of UNIX, System VI, for use by the PC - that is,
the "Politically Correct."
System VI Release notes
Utilities
"man" pages are now called "person" pages.
Similarly, "hangman" is now the
"person_executed_by_an_oppressive_regime."
To avoid casting aspersions on our feline friends, the "cat" command
is now merely "domestic_quadruped."
To date, there has only been a UNIX command for "yes" - reflecting
the male belief that women always mean yes, even when they say no. To
address this imbalance, System VI adds a "no" command, along with a
"-f[orce]" option which will crash the entire system if the "no" more...