European Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many European ballet dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they like Danzig in the dark.

During the Middle Ages, everybody was middle aged. Church and state were cooperatic. Middle Evil society was made up of monks, lords and surfs. It is unfortunate that we do not have a medivel European laid out on a table before us, ready for dissection.

After a revival of infantile commerce slowly creeoed into Europe, merchants appeared. Some were sitters and some were drifters. They roamed from town to town exposing themselves and organized big fairies in the countryside.

Mideval people were violent. Murder during this Period was nothing. Everybody killed someone. England fought numerously for land in France and ended up wining and losing. The Crusades were a series of military expaditions made by Christians seeking to free the holy land (the "Home Town" of Christ) from the Islams.

In the 1400 hundreds most Englishmen were perpendicular. A class of yeowls arose. Finally Europe caught the Black Death. The bubonic plague is a social disease in more...

Q: What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian?
A: Only the first one can make you smile.
Q: How many people fron Dresden can you fit in a mini?
A: About 25000 if you've got a shovel
Q: What is the definition of the European Heaven?
A: British humour, French food, German technology.
A: What is the definition of the European Hell?
A: British food, German humour, French technology.
Q: Why are so many Germans born by C-section?
A: Ever try to get a Squarehead through a round hole?

a blond, asian, and european are being chased by the police.
they find 3 stacks of hay by a barn so hey each hide in one.
the police comes and sees the three hay stacks.
they think at least one is in there so they kick the first hay stack that has the asian.
Meow meow she says. so the police thinks its a cat.
they kick the second one that has the european. Woof woof she says. so the police thinks shes a dog.
they kick the third with the blond and she says potato potato

The verbatim report of the last meeting of the European Commission has leaked to the press. Here is a small part of that historic meeting.
Van Miert (talking to Cresson): You will resign you bitch, Verdomme, or I'll make you swallow your new teeth one by one.
Cresson: I will not sink alone (famous last words).
Pinheiro: My brother in law has invited me to a golf game tomorrow, could we please hurry up?
Bangeman (Talking to Santer): get down from the window you idiot you will hurt yourself.
Marin: I'm clean, clean, clean, clean, so clean, clean, clean, clean.
Sir Leon Brittan:(Talking to himself): Tony loves me.
Sir Leon Brittan:(Talking to Neil Kinnock): Tony loves you too.
Papoutsis: What is going on here? Who is going to resign? Who the hell is Santer?
Schroeder (on the phone): Calm down Jacques. It is not that bad.
Imagine that I had to deal with Lafontaine all my life. And now that I got rid of him he wants to become President of the more...

Amsterdam (AP/UPI) -- While the Lewinsky scandal continues to rage on the front of American newspapers, a much different reaction has developed on this side of the Atlantic. To world-wise, sophisticated Europeans, the spectacle is a curious sideshow and another reason to mock and disdain the puritan morals of their American counterparts.
"You feelthy Americans, you make me seek," says sneering French graduate student Serge Tati, 47, expressing a common sentiment. Fashionably clad in a horizontal stripe t-shirt and skin-tight Speedo, he was recently relaxing on the Lido with his mistress Yvette LaFleur, 43. Like thousands of fellow French graduate students, he was enjoying his annual 28-week vacation.
"Beel Clinton, he is Euro, no. He eez moderne, he eez now. He has joie de vivre. He ravages zee young geerls. In my country, we geeve heem a medal, no?" asks Tati, deeply drawing on a clove cigarette.
"Oui, like Jerry Lewees," adds the topless more...

Online dating is huge now. Everyone from EHarmony to Match.com have been benefitting from the surge in personals. But impersonal nature of online personals need a little clarifying. Below you'll find a guide to better enable yourself "Find That Special Someone"
Female
Beautiful Bulgarian girl = I need a green card
Beautiful Ukranian girl = I need a green card
Beautiful Romanian girl = I need a green card....possibly a gypsy
I love doing yoga and running with my dog = a really good lay
Athletic = No tits
Spends too much time at work / Work Hard = I'm cheating on you and we haven't even met
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Takes a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure = On medication / Frequent Psychiatric Visits
Feminist = Fat
Free spirit = Junkie / Hippie
Hopeless romantic = Wants a Ring
Friendship first = Former slut
Fun = Annoying
New-Age = Body hair in the wrong places
very goal oriented = She more...