Eva Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell. Satan is giving him a VIP tour, showing him his options for spending eternity.

They come to a room marked "Hitler." Inside is Eva Braun, torturing Adolf Hitler with red-hot irons. Every time Hitler tries to escape,
Eva applies another iron.
"I can't spend eternity like that," says Clinton. "Show me something else."

Satan takes him to another room marked "Jack the Ripper."
Inside are three mutilated prostitutes, stretching Jack on the rack.
Every time Jack screams, the whores turn the wheel a little more.
"I can't spend eternity like that, either," says Clinton. "Show me something better."

Satan takes Bill to the last door.
Inside, Kenneth Starr is being held up to the wall with chains around his wrists. At his groin is Monica Lewinsky giving him oral sex.

Bill smiles. "Yes!" he shouts, "that's for more...

Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell. Satan is giving him a VIP tour, showing him his options for spending eternity. They come to a room marked "Hitler." Inside is Eva Braun, torturing Adolf Hitler with red-hot irons. Every time Hitler tries to escape, Eva applies another iron. "I can't spend eternity like that," says Clinton. "Show me something else." Satan takes him to another room marked "Jack the Ripper." Inside are three mutilated prostitutes, stretching Jack on the rack. Every time Jack screams, the whores turn the wheel a little more. "I can't spend eternity like that, either," says Clinton. "Show me something better." Satan takes Bill to the last door. Inside, Kenneth Starr is being held up to the wall with chains around his wrists. At his groin is Monica Lewinsky giving him oral sex. Bill smiles. "Yes!" he shouts, "that's for me." Satan smirks and says "Good choice, Mr. President." He more...

One day in Paradise, Eva said to God:
-"GOD, I have got a problem!"
-"What is the problem, Eva?.
-"God, I know you made me and you gave me this wonderful garden, all these amazing animals and also the good serpent, but I am not happy."
-"Why do you feel that?" - said a voice from the sky.
-"God, I am alone, and I can't handle eat more apples."
-"Well, Eva, in that case, I have got a solution for you. I will create the man."
-"What is a man, God?"
-"A man will be an imperfect creature, with many negative attributes: liar, arrogant, conceited person; resuming, he will make your life a hell.
But... he will be bigger, faster, and he will hunt and kill animals for you. He will have a stupid look when excited, but I will make him to satisfy all your physical needs. He will pathetic and he will have pleasure with childish things as kick a ball and be fighting all the time. He more...