Evening Jokes / Recent Jokes
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice, "The big sissy."
Hotel Letters
The following letters were taken from an actual incident between aLondon hotel and one of its guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the London SundayTimes for their humor column....
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Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little barsof soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the sixunopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in theshower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
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Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be backtomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dishas you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of yourKleenex dispenser in case you more...
/* OK, we won't have a Punny week again in a long time... :-) */
It was a warn Southern California evening when the jury reached a verdict in the O. J. Simpson case. The nation was anxiously awaiting the jury's verdict and newsmen were rapidly arriving on the rumors that the decision would finally be announced. At that moment, Judge Ito was in his backyard Bar-B-Qing filet mignon for the family's evening dinner. The bailiff phoned the Ito residence and when Mrs. Ito answered, requested that the Judge be notified and suggested that the judge should return to the court house as soon as possible. Mrs. Ito refused the bailiff's request because, she insisted, "HIS HONOR WAS AT STEAK."
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?
"That it is," more...
When the Rev. Billy Graham came to our local community to be the guest preacher for a holiday evening worship service, he arrived to the church in the afternoon. He wanted to check the setting for his performance, meet with the minister, and take care of some personal matters.
He realized that he had an important letter to mail, so he walked out to the portico, and saw a young boy on a bicycle on his way through. He stopped the boy on his bike to ask him directions on how he might get to the local post office.
The boy obliged, giving Billy Graham precise directions to the nearest post office.
Billy Graham then offered the boy two tickets to his appearance for himself and his mother, and to hear Billy Graham address the topic: "How to Get to Heaven" that evening.
The boy refused to accept the tickets by saying, "I am sorry but I can't accept he tickets because, if you can't find your way to the post office, how can you tell me more...
There once was a brother and a sister, fraternal twins, who were approaching their high school graduation. It was getting near prom night and neither of them had a date for it. So one day, the girl approaches her brother and says "Hey, you got a date for the prom yet?"
He says "No, why? You got someone lined up for me?" "You might say that. Why don't you take me to the prom?"
"Take you? You kidding? You're my sister!" "Well, are you taking somebody else out?"
"You know I don't have a date, Sis. " "And neither do I. But we both want to go to the prom, don't we?" Her brother nods. She continues, "So we should go with each other."
The brother can't see anything wrong with her reasoning, so he tells his sister that if neither of them has a date by Wednesday evening he will take her to the prom. Wednesday evening rolls around. Neither of the siblings has a date, so the brother tells his sister more...
There once was a brother and a sister, fraternal twins, who were approaching their high school graduation. It was getting near prom night and neither of them had a date for it. So one day, the girl approaches her brother and says "Hey, you got a date for the prom yet?"He says "No, why? You got someone lined up for me?" "You might say that. Why don't you take me to the prom?""Take you? You kidding? You're my sister!" "Well, are you taking somebody else out?""You know I don't have a date, Sis. " "And neither do I. But we both want to go to the prom, don't we?" Her brother nods. She continues, "So we should go with each other."The brother can't see anything wrong with her reasoning, so he tells his sister that if neither of them has a date by Wednesday evening he will take her to the prom. Wednesday evening rolls around. Neither of the siblings has a date, so the brother tells his sister that he'll take her more...
Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing
breathlessly into a lengthy speech."Mom, this is Susan and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I'm going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad's car has a flat but it's not my fault. Honest! I don't
know what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the theater. Please don't be mad, okay?"Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had dialed my number by mistake."I'm sorry dear," I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't have a daughter named Susan.""Gosh, Mom," the young woman's voice replied, "I didn't think you'd be *this* mad!"