Everybody Jokes / Recent Jokes
Everybody has equal rights now a days... Animals,Women, Minorities, everybody but overweight people it seems. When I do something, it should be referred to the same as it is with people of average weight.
From now on, when I have sex, it will be referred to as regular old sex... not rape, and not inbreeding... I don't care if it was my unconscious cousin, it still counts!
Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5 minutes,
then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million dollars"
She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.
Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming,
"My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"
He called and talked for about 2 minutes,
then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Ten million dollars"
With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.
Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Pakistan too,
I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of more...
Everybody should believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer.
Drinking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party rush,
Faces are hung o'er the balcony, everybody is a lush.
Drinking around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas drunkards
through,
Later we'll do some vomiting, and our arms will hug the loo.
You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.
Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.
(drunken sax solo.)
You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.
Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.
If you think there's good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
Proud father
When his wife gave birth to a healthy baby, a proud father went in to work and told everybody that he has a 10Kg healthy son.
After hearing what was going on, the wife tells the father to quit telling everybody that the baby is 10Kg because he's only 4 Kg.
Next day at work, the father comes in and tells everyone that the baby is only 4 Kg.
"What do you mean, he was 10 yesterday?"
"Umm, well that was before he got circumcised".