Everybody Jokes / Recent Jokes

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and NobodyThis is a story about four people named Everbody, Somebody, Anybodyand Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody wassure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, butNobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobodyrealized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everbodyblamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Q: What do members of a good basketball team have in common with a roomful of men and a blonde?
A: Everybody scores!

Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals."

This guy is sitting in a bar drunk.
He asks the bartender where's the bathroom at?
The bartender said, go down the hall and make a right.
Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hear's this loud scream and wonders what is going on in the bathroom. A few minutes go by again and everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that came out of the bathroom again.
This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He opened the door and asked the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in here? You are scaring all my customers away."
The drunk said, "I'm sitting on the toilet and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out my balls."
With that, the bartender looks in and says, "No wonder, you're sitting on a mop bucket you asshole!!

This guy is sitting in a bar drunk.
He asks the bartender where's the bathroom at?
The bartender said, go down the hall and make a right.
Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hear's this loud scream and wonders what is going on in the bathroom. A few minutes go by again and everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that came out of the bathroom again.
This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He opened the door and asked the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in here? You are scaring all my customers away."
The drunk said, "I'm sitting on the toilet and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out my balls."
With that, the bartender looks in and says, "No wonder, you're sitting on a mop bucket you asshole!!

Yo momma's like a pie, everybody gets a piece.

one day a man came to a new town, wentto the library and said, "
could i havea book on butterflys. i loooove butterflys."
the librarian screamed "
satan is here! everybody get him!"
so he ran & ran to the mueseum & said "
do you have a butterfly exibit? i loooove butterflys."
the man says "
satan is here! everybody get him!"
and the man runs and runs. then he goes to a bar & the bartender says "
you look like you got a problem. wanna talk about it?"
the man says "
all day i'v been trying to find stuff about butterflys and everyone calls me satan and chases me away."
then the man gets chased out into the street and gets hit by a car. what's the morel of this story? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > always look both ways before crossing the street. DUH!