Everywhere Jokes / Recent Jokes

Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married! There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it. Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife more...

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark. ”
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don't have to be afraid of the dark, ” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you. ”
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he's out there? ”
“Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him, ” she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom? ”

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

What is a cat? - Cats do what they want.
- They rarely listen to you.
- They are totally unpredictable.
- When you want to play, they want to be alone.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They expect you to cater to their every whim.
- They are moody.
- They leave hair everywhere.
- They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: They are tiny women in fur coats.
What is a dog?
- Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most
comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
- They can hear a package of food opening half a
block away, but they don't hear you when you
are in the same room.
- They growl when they are not happy.
- When you want to play, they want to play.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They are great at begging.
- They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
- They leave their toys everywhere.
- They do disgusting things with their more...

What is a cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
What is a dog?
1. Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They are great at begging.
8. They will love you forever if you more...

What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
What is a Dog?
1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture
in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't
hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a
kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as more...

Pappu blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother, Jeeto, tells him to stop it as he`s liable to break something. He continues. "Pappu!" Jeeto screams. "Knock it off. You`re going to break something." He stops and eventually she leaves for a short trip to the store. Pappu starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet. Jeeto comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she`s finished she looks down and can`t believe what she`s seeing. Diarrhea everywhere! She`s not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he`ll be over shortly to examine everything. When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. more...