Everywhere Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was riding a bike so fast at night time, without light
Police: why didnt u switch on ur light?
Man: there is light everywhere sir. (police takes out air from the tyre )
Man: why did u take out air in my tyre sir?
Police: there is air everywhere!

The difference between cats and dogs...
What is a Cat?
1) Cats do what they want.
2) They rarely listen to you.
3) They're totally unpredictable.
4) They whine when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8) They're moody.
9) They leave hair everywhere.
10) They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats.
What is a Dog?
1) Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2) They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3) They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4) They growl when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to play.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They are great at more...

... a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

Hiya lang lui!
Hi lang jai!
Want to ride in my Honda?
Sure lang jai!
Jump in!

*I'm a Chinese girl, in a Chinese world
Eating wonton, it's perfection
I have light brown hair, Sanrio everywhere
Frustration, in my generation.

Come on bb, let's go drink tea.

I'm a Chinese girl, in a Chinese world
Playing mahjong, nothing is wrong
I have tons of flares, tight shirts everywhere
Looking cocky, just can't stop me.

I'm Chinese, Asian girl, in a white-people world
Egg foo young, just for fun, I do laundry.

You're so tall, Chinese doll, eat some jook and chow mein,
No FOBS here, egg rolls there, fortune cookie.

Eat cha siu, eat bok choi, you can say I love Sam's club.

Repeat *

Come on bb, let's go drink tea.
Ai ai ai yah.
Come on bb, let's go drink tea.
Ooh ooh

Make me cook, make me clean, do whatever is mean
I can do more...

December 14, 2003Dearest Dave, I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling! With truly the deepest love, AgnesDecember 15, 2003Dearest Dave, Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.With all of my love, Your AgnesDecember 16, 2003Dearest Dave, You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised-what more should I expect from such a nice person.Love, AgnesDecember 17, 2003Dear Dave, Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.Affectionately, AgnesDecember 18, 2003Dearest darling Dave, It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for more...

Everywhere children are schooled to become masters at answering questions and to remain novices at asking them.

Visa is everywhere you want to be...except out of debt.