Evil Jokes / Recent Jokes

There once were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep
their evil ways from the public eye. They attended the same temple, and to
everyone else, they appeared to be perfect Jews.
One day, their rabbi retired and a new one was hired. Not only could the new
rabbi see right through the brothers' deceptions, but he also spoke well and
true about it. Due to the rabbi's honesty and integrity, the temple's membership
grew in numbers. Eventually, a fundraising campaign was started to build a much
bigger temple.
All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the
new rabbi the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount
needed to complete the new building. He held the check for the rabbi to see.
"I have only one condition," he said. "At the funeral, you must say my brother
was a mensch. You must say those exact words."
After some thought, the rabbi gave more...

There were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church and looked to be perfect Christians. Then, their pastor retired and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers.

A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly. All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building.' I have only one condition,' he said.' At his funeral, you must say my brother was a saint.'

The pastor gave his word and deposited the check. The next day at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back.' He was an evil man,' he said.' He cheated on his wife and abused his family.' After going on in this vein for a small time, he concluded with:' more...

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil, "which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!", declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad."An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had more...

"Did you know that last month's (expletive) phone bill is over $450?" my wife scolded me in her harshest, my-husband-the-child voice. "That's more than twice the monthly payment you make for that (expletive)computer!" she continued as she escalated to screaming.
"I confess! I confess!" I sobbed. "I'm just an on-line junkie. I'm addicted to my modem! I guess I'll just have to join Modems Anonymous before I owe my soul to the phone company. "As a counselor for Modems Anonymous, I hear numerous variations of the preceding story every day. That insidious disease, modem fever, is exacting a tragically large toll from the cream of our society's computer users. Modem-mania is sweeping through the very foundations of our country and there seems to be no stopping it. This disease (yes, it is a social disease of almost epidemic proportions) is becoming a such calamity that soon there's even going to be a soap opera about on-line addiction named, more...

The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"
The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"
The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."

There were two rich brothers who looked great on the outside, even attending church regularly, but whose hearts were evil.
A new, more astute pastor arrived at the church. The congregation grew and a fund raising campaign was started to extend the church.
All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The day before the funeral the remaining brother sidled up to the pastor and gave him a cheque for the full amount needed to complete the extensions.
"Just one condition," he said."At the funeral you must say that my brother was a saint." The pastor gave him his word and deposited the cheque. The next day, at the funeral, the pastor let it all go.
"He was an evil man," he said, hard on his wife and family, corrupt in business," and on and on. He concluded, "but, compared to his brother, he was a saint."

The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him knowhow little you think of his evil!"The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the Devil and his evil?"The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think Iought to aggravate anybody!"