Exactly Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!'' So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, ''Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?'' ''Ma'am,'' the officer replies, ''You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.'' ''Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!'' the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that ''22'' was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman more...

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route more...

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the more...

A well-dressed business man was walking down the street when Little Johnny, covered in soot said to him respectfully, “Sir, can you tell me the time? ” The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, “It is a quarter to three, young man. ” “Thanks, ” said Little Johnny. “At exactly three o’clock you can kiss my ass. ” With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry, the outraged businessman started chasing him. He had not been running long when an old friend stopped him. “Why are you running like this at your age? ” asked the friend. Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said, “That little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was quarter to three he told me that at exactly three, I should kiss his ass! ” “So what’s your hurry? ” said the friend. “You still have ten minutes. ”

Find out where your boss shops and purchase exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This tends to be especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.
Page yourself over the intercom without disguising your voice.
Send email to the other employees telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Sit at your desk and soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Marge.
Whenever someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they'd like fries with that.
Encourage your co-workers to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
Highlight your shoes, explaining to everyone that you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
Send email back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. more...

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH.He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?""Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.""Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed more...

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.' Does your wife ever...well, you know...does she...well, let you do it doggie style?' asked one of the two.

'Well, not exactly,' his friend replied,' She's more into the trick dog aspect of it.'

'Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?'

'Well, not exactly. Whenever I make a move, she's most likely to roll over and play dead.'