Examining Jokes / Recent Jokes
A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" The coroner said, "No."
The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?", and again the coroner said, "No."
Then the attorney asked, "Did you check for breathing?", and again the coroner said, "No."
"So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"
The coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minoroperation. She's laid on a trolley bed by a lady ina white dress and brought to the corridor. Beforethey enter the room she leaves her behind the theatredoor to go in and check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes thesheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walksaway and talks to another man in a white coat. The secondman comes over and does the same examinations. When the third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations arefine and appreciated, but when are you going to start thoperation?" The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I haveno idea. We're just painting the corridor."
The Vatican recently announced that it will be examining Catholic seminaries for evidence of homosexuality. They will also be examining the Atlantic Ocean for evidence of fish.
For convenience sake, an elderly married couple scheduled their annual physical examinations to take place on the same day.
After examining the elderly man, the doctor said, "You appear to be in good health. Are there any medical concerns you would like to discuss with me?"
"Yes, doctor, there is one," replied the elderly man. "After I make love to my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."
"That's quite interesting," replied the doctor. "Let me do some research and get back to you."
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Are there any medical concerns you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady assured the doctor that she didn't have any questions or concerns.
The doctor then asked, "Your husband had quite an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually more...
While waiting in the doctor's waiting room, two very nervous men got to talking. Within minutes, they discovered that they had very similar symptoms. One had a red ring around the base of his penis, and the other had a green ring. The guy with the red ring was examined first.
In a few minutes, he came out of the examining room and was all smiles. Going over to the other fellow, he said, "Don't worry, it's nothing."
Very relieved, the second guy entered the examining room, only to be told by the doctor, "I'm very sorry, but you have an advanced case of VD. I'm afraid you'll have to be castrated."
Turning white, the young man gasped, "But the first guy... he said it was no big deal!"
"Well, young man," the doctor said, "there's a huge difference between gangrene and lipstick!"
A man's dog has a problem so he takes him to the vet's. The vet looks at the dog and says that he'll have to take him to the examining room. In the examining room, he takes a cat out of a cage and lets the cat walk all over the dog, but the dog doesn't do anything.
The doctor say "Your dog is dead."
The man goes out to the receptionist and asks for his bill.
"That'll be $325" says the receptionist.
"What! $325? How's that possible?"
"It's $25 for the consultation, and $300 for the Cat scan."
NOTE: The students might not recognise the word CAT scan.
I went into the doctors the other day and saw the doctor examining a patient.
the patient said,
'I have a serious problem with my arm, look'
the arm lifted slightly and said,
'give me a tenner'
the arm the lifted halfway and said
'give my 100 quid'
and then the arm lifted as high as it could and it sais
'give me a grand'
The doctoe was still examining and eventually he said
'I'm afraid your arm is broke'