Example Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They're in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the "Rev" Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "That would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Rev. Jackson searches the more...

This is about a day when Mr. Zail Singh was the President of
the country.
All sardars in the country went to him this day and told him
that people
tease them by making jokes about them that when the clock
stucks 12: 00,
all sardars go mad and act like crazy. They complained that
this is not
true. They also complained that people talk about sardar
having no common
sanse. Therefore, they demanded him to go bring for them
common sense.

Mr. Zail Singh was confused and asked his secretary to give
him some suggestions. The secretary advised him to go to Japan, since quality is guaranteed.

The next day Mr. Zail Singh rushes off to Japan. At the
Osaka Airport he
hires a cab and asks him to take him to a shop where he
can get common sense.

The cab driver was pissed, he told him that there is no shop
in Japan that sells such stuff. Infact every human being has common sense since more...

President George Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the classes (4th grade). They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Bush, "that would be an ACCIDENT."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. more...

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first redneck went to see a professor who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" asked the first redneck.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a Weedeater?"

"I sure do," answered the redneck.

"Then, I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouted, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you more...

proof by example:
The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that it contains most of the ideas of the general proof.
proof by intimidation:
"Trivial."
proof by vigorous handwaving:
Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.
proof by cumbersome notation:
Best done with access to at least four alphabets and special symbols.
proof by exhaustion:
An issue or two of a journal devoted to your proof is useful.
proof by omission:
"The reader may easily supply the details"
"The other 253 cases are analogous"
"..."
proof by obfuscation:
A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless syntactically related statements.
proof by wishful citation:
The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization of a theorem from the literature to support his claims.
proof by funding:
How could three different government agencies be wrong?
proof by more...

Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a mighty nice day to be moving." New Neighbor: "Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly." Neighbor 1: "So, what is it you do for a living?" New Neighbor: "I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning." Neighbor 1: "Deductive reasoning, what's that?" New Neighbor: "Let me give you an example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog." Neighbor 1: "That's right." New Neighbor: "The fact that you have a dog, leads me to deduce that you have a family." Neighbor 1: "Right again." New Neighbor: "Since you have a famly, I deduce that you have a wife." Neighbor 1: "Correct." New Neighbor: "And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual." Neighbor 1: "Yup." New Neighbor: "That is deductive reasoning." Neighbor 1: more...

Two guys who wanted to get a job at a computer company decided they'd
better get a college education so they could interact with intelligent
people, learn to read books, think, and be contributing citizens of the
global village.
They enrolled in the local junior college, and the first guy went in to
see his advisor, who said, "Randy, I want you to take History, Math and
Logic." "What's Logic?" asked Randy. "Well," said the professor, "I'll
give you an example: Do you own a weedeater?" "Why, yes, I do," replied
Randy. "OK," continued the professor, "logic tells me that you have a
yard!" "Amazing," gushed the young rube. "And," continued the professor,
"since you have a yard, logic tells me that you have a house." "I do! I
do!" exclaimed the boy. "And," continued the professor, "if you have a
house, you more...