Exchange Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Top 10 Signs Your Broker Was Affected by the Stock Market Crash
"He can't come to the phone right now.. he's on the ledge."
"He won't be in today... he was made an offer and he refused."
"He left the building and not via the elevator.. if you catch my drift."
"I'm sorry, sir.. she's not in... she's out digging up your can as we speak."
There's a sign on her desk that says "Next Broker Please."
"He's on another line with his Mommy.. would you care to hold?"
"No sir, that wasn't him streaking through the Stock Exchange"
"He's meeting with the SEC as we speak."
"I'm sorry, ma'am but that was him being led from the Stock Exchange naked except for the sale tickets stuck to his body via maple syrup."
"Yes sir, that is him in the White Bronco leading the cops down the more...
An astronomer on an extended lecture tour became weary of delivering the
same lecture night after night. He confided this state of mind to his
chauffeur as they were driving to their next destination. The chauffeur
expressed a similar boredom in his line of work.
"I've got it!" said the astronomer. "You are bored with driving and I am
weary of lecturing. Let's exchange places for one night. It will be a
refreshing change for both of us. My lecture is all written out word for word
and nobody in the next town knows me by sight anyway." The driver agreed and
the exchange of roles and dress was made. That night the lecture hall filled
to capacity. At the appointed time those in attendance heard a flawlessly
delivered lecture. At its conclusion the lecturer basked in the euphoric
applause. Then came the question and answer period.
"Who discovered Uranus?" came from a boy in the front.
"Uh...William more...
An astronomer on an extended lecture tour became weary of delivering the same lecture night after night. He confided this state of mind to his chauffeur as they were driving to their next destination. The chauffeur expressed a similar boredom in his line of work.
"I've got it!" said the astronomer. "You are bored with driving and I'm weary of lecturing. Let's exchange places for one night. It will be a refreshing change for both of us. My lecture is all written out word for word and nobody in the next town knows me by sight anyway."
The driver agreed and the exchange of roles and dress was made. That night the lecture hall filled to capacity. At the appointed time those in attendance heard a flawlessly delivered lecture. At its conclusion the lecturer basked in the euphoric applause. Then came the question and answer period.
"Who discovered Uranus?" came from a boy in the front.
"Uh... William Herschel." He remembered that from more...
Santa: I Haven't Slept All Night In The Train. Banta: Why? Santa: I Got The Upper Berth. Banta: Why Didn't You Exchange? Santa: There Was Nobody To Exchange In The Lower Berth!!
Long, but really funny... from a Company in USA. DATE: October 01, 2003RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1: 00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. 00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty =============================================================== FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 02, 2003 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our more...
A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the Pope. There he stood, in a big long line with a rather expensive suit on, hoping the Pope would notice how smart he was and perhaps talk a few words with him.
As the Pope made his way slowly down the line, he walked right past the American, hardly even noticing him.
The Pope then stopped next to a low-life sot, leaned over and whispered something in the sot's ear, and made his way on again.
This really angered the American. After speaking with the drunkard, the American agreed to pay $1000 dollars to exchange clothing, in the hope that the Pope would speak to him the next day.
The next morning the American stood in the line, waiting to see the Pope and hopefully exchange a few words. The Pope was making his way slowly up to the American. When he finally reached him, he leaned over to the American and spoke softly into his ear..
"I thought I told you yesterday to get out of here."
Administratrium, The New Element
AMES, IA--The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction time is less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually more...