Exchange Jokes / Recent Jokes

The most respected name in bridge sale is about to present an offer that no self respecting bridge collector can ignore. The Bradley Bridge Exchange is proud to introduce the Commemorative Bridge Series. Even if you have never collected bridges before this unique investment opportunity should interest you.
The Bradley Bridge Exchange has been selling quality collectable bridges for fifty years. Now through this once in a lifetime Internet offer, you can purchase famous bridges.
Think about it, EVERYONE needs bridges: to go to work, walk across, jump from, get mugged under and to throw rocks from.
Not all bridges go up in value, the Bradley Bridge Exchange guarantees that your own personalized bridge will retain its minimum value for at least one full year.
The famous Golden Gate Bridge was originally offered through The Bradley Bridge Exchange for a mere 35 dollars. In the 57 times it has since been re-sold, its value has increased to an astounding 10 million dollars! more...

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT!
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university physicists. The element, tentatively named "Administratium", had no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice neutrons, and 161 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 247. These 247 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over four days to complete. Without the Administratium, the reaction occurred in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually more...

You might have heard this before.
Clinton and Pope died on the same day. Dur to an document error
the Pope went to the hell and Clinton went to the heven.
Then the Pope complained Satan the leader in the hell claiming that
he is not supposed to go there and requested to recheck documentation.
Then Satan contacted God and double checked documents. Then they found
the documentation error and arranged to exchange Clinton to the Hell
and Pope to the Heven. The correction of documents took 5 minutes only.
During the exchange Clinton met Pope in between and shouted at Pope saying "Why the hell you want to go to heven? "
Then Pope replied "I want to see Vergin Mary! ". Then clinton replied
"Then you are 5 minutes late! "

New Chemical Element Discovered The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered byinvestigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentativelynamed administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomicnumber of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic massof 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves thecontinuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can bedetected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes onereaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normallyoccurred in less than a second.Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at whichtime it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in more...

***************************************************** CHRISTMAS PARTY*****************************************************FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources DirectorTO: All EmployeesDATE: December 1RE: Christmas PartyI'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take placeon December 23, starting at noon, in the banquet room at Luigi's Open PitBarbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small bandplaying traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And, don't besurprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas treewill be lit at 1: 00 P. M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done atthat time, however, no gift should be over $10. 00 to make the giving ofgifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Aspecial announcement will be made by our CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family, Patty============================================FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources DirectorTO: All more...

Calls For Tragic Death Of Streisand
With sales of Princess Di memorabilia falling off sharply after a record
1997, collectible-plate-industry leaders Monday called for the tragic
death of beloved entertainer Barbra Streisand.
"For the 1998 Christmas season to be anywhere near as successful as last
year's, we need a heartbreaking, untimely end to a wonderful life that we
can commemorate with a series of limited-edition collector's plates," said
Franklin Mint president Jim Campion, who joined representatives from the
Bradford Exchange and Danbury Mint in a unified call for Streisand's
tragic demise. "The death of Barbra Streisand, with her upscale, intensely
devoted following, would be ideal."
Economists say the unexpected death of a star of Streisand's magnitude
would translate to a 70 percent sales boost for the $1 billion
collectible-plate industry.
"A Streisand death would probably outsell all other more...

AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC AlphaBetize CodeABR Add Beyond RangeACC Advance CPU ClockACDC Allow Controller to Delete ContentsACDP Allow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQT Advance Clock to Quitting TimeADB Another Dumb BugAEE Absolve Engineering ErrorsAFF Add Fudge FactorAFHB Align Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFP Abnormalize Floating PointAFR Abort Funny RoutineAFVC Add Finagle's Variable ConstantAGB Add GarBageAGWA Add and Get Wrong AnswerAI Add ImproperAIB Attack Innocent BystanderAIB Attack Innocent BystandersAISG Access and Improve Student GradeAMM Add Mayo and MustardAMM Answer My MailAMS Add Memory to SystemANC ANnoy ConsultantAOI Annoy Operator ImmediateAR Advance RudelyAR Alter RealityARN Add and Reset to Non-zeroARN Add and Reset to NonzeroARZ Add and Reset to ZeroAS Add SidewaysASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSIAT Accumulate TriviaAWP Argue With ProgrammerAWTT Assemble With Tinker ToysBA Branch more...