Exercise Jokes / Recent Jokes
If you get caught sleeping on the job, here's some quick excuses!
It's okay...I'm still billing the client.
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time-management course you sent me to.
I was working smarter, not harder.
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance
I'm in the management training program
Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.
This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamt about work!
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory more...
I hope you're not one of those pupils who spends all day on the Net and doesn't get any exercise. Oh, no, miss, I often sit around watching TV and not getting exercise either.
If you get caught sleeping on the job, here's some quick excuses! It's okay...I'm still billing the client."They told me at the blood bank this might happen."This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time-management course you sent me to.I was working smarter, not harder."Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper""I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people ! I was testing the keyboard for drool resistanceI'm in the management training programActually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamt about work!"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"Damn! Why did you more...
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper. "
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people !"
"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"
"Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
"The coffee machine is broke...."
"Someone must've more...
This is strange... can you figure it out?
Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?
Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
* There's no trick or surprise.
* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one
at a time and as quickly as you can!
* Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until
you've done each of them. .. really.
* Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something>
Think of a number from 1 to 10
Multiply that number by 9
If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together
Now subtract 5
Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the
number
you ended up with
(example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c, etc.)
Think of a country that starts with that letter
Remember the last letter of more...
… Revised Company Exercise Programme
The company has discontinued all physical fitness programs since everyone gets enough exercise by:-
jumping to conclusions,
flying off the handle,
beating around the bush,
running down the boss,
going around in circles,
dragging their feet,
dodging responsibility,
passing the buck,
climbing the ladder,
wading through paperwork,
pulling strings,
shooting the breeze,
throwing their weight around,
stretching the truth,
bending the rules,
pushing their luck,
shuffling papers,
and playing hide and seek.