Breast Jokes

A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

Indecent Exposure
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!"

One day a girl went to church to make a confession
GIRL: Forgive me father for I have sined
PRIEST: What have you done my child
GIRL: I called a man a son of a bitch
PRIEST: Why did you call him a son of a bitch
GIRL: Caused he touched my hand
PRIEST: Like this, (as he touches her hand)
GIRL:Yes father.
PRIEST: That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch
GIRL: Then he touched my breast.
PRIEST: Like this, (as he touched her breast)
GIRL: Yes father
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch
GIRL: Then he took off my clothes father
PRIEST: Like this, (as he takes off her clothes)
GIRL: Yes father
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch
GIRL: Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where
PRIEST: Like this, (as he stuck his you know what into her you know here)
GIRL: YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER
PRIEST: (after a few minutes) that's no reason to call him a son of a more...

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office.
She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor.
After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?"
"Oh...he is breast fed!", replied the woman.
"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor.
She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table.
The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.
The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says -
"No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!"
The woman with a wry grin on her face responds..."Well of course I don't."
"I'm his aunt - but I'm SURE GLAD I brought him in!"