"Son of a bitch confession" joke

One day a girl went to church to make a confession
GIRL: Forgive me father for I have sined
PRIEST: What have you done my child
GIRL: I called a man a son of a bitch
PRIEST: Why did you call him a son of a bitch
GIRL: Caused he touched my hand
PRIEST: Like this, (as he touches her hand)
GIRL:Yes father.
PRIEST: That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch
GIRL: Then he touched my breast.
PRIEST: Like this, (as he touched her breast)
GIRL: Yes father
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch
GIRL: Then he took off my clothes father
PRIEST: Like this, (as he takes off her clothes)
GIRL: Yes father
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch
GIRL: Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where
PRIEST: Like this, (as he stuck his you know what into her you know here)
GIRL: YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER
PRIEST: (after a few minutes) that's no reason to call him a son of a bitch
GIRL: But father he had AIDS
PRIEST: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!

A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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