Expensive Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.
"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."
The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced.
"I'm back!"
Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."

Jealously eying her next-door neighbor's new mink stole, the young wife asked how she had been able to afford such an expensive item.
"You probably won't believe it," her neighbor replied, "but I saved up the money by charging my husband five dollars every time we made love."
That night, when her husband tried to fondle her, the young wife, determined to get a mink of her own, promptly stuck out her palm and demanded five dollars. Fumbling through his trousers, the husband complained that he had only $4. 50.
"For $4. 50," she rejoined stubbornly, "you can only sample my affection!"
After several minutes of extensive sampling, however, the aroused wife realized she would not be able to resist her husband's advances much longer. In a final attempt to maintain her newly acquired bargaining position, she whispered in his ear, "If it's all the same to you, dear, why don't I lend you fifty cents until tomorrow?"

A little old lady went to the grocery store & put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, "Nothing but the best for my little kitten on Christmas."
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, & the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat & brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
The next day, the old lady went to the store & bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies - one for each day of Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.
Frustrated, she went home, came back & brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies.
The next day, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The more...

A little old lady went to the grocery store & put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, "Nothing but the best for my little kitten."The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, & the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."The little old lady went home, picked up her cat & brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.The next day, the old lady went to the store & bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies - one for each day of Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.Frustrated, she went home, came back & brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies.The next day, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to more...

Why is sperm donations more EXPENSIVE than blood Donations?
Because its HANDMADE!!!

A little old lady went to the grocery store & put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, "Nothing but the best for my little kitten." The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, & the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat." The little old lady went home, picked up her cat & brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, the old lady went to the store & bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies - one for each day of Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food. Frustrated, she went home, came back & brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies. The next day, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier more...

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.