Experts Jokes / Recent Jokes

It could be considered the ultimate test of ones manhood. Two Taiwanese Chi Kung experts set a world record by pulling an 11-ton truck with their penises. Hundreds of enthusiastic spectators watched as the two masters performed the test of strength in preparation for plans to pull an airplane in the same way. According to Chi Kung master Tu Chin Sheng, students of this particular martial art can hang up to 200 kilograms from their manhood. Sheng also added that this is a great way to strengthen your sexual performance.

Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug.
As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at 99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB).
Within months or even weeks, that number will roll over to 100GB. McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of selling one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the signs have only two decimal places.
This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict, will convince the public that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's hamburgers have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete collapse of consumer confidence in McDonald's products.
The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to force the already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, more...

Actual Newspaper Headlines
Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
House passes gas tax onto senate
Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
William Kelly was fed secretary
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Farmer bill dies in house
Iraqi head seeks arms
Some become unintentionally suggestive:
Queen Mary having bottom scraped
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
NJ judge to rule on nude beach
Child's stool great for use in garden
Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
Organ festival ends in smashing climax
Grammar often botches other more...

If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who`s there? Boss: Not you anymore.

YOUR CO-WORKER COULD BE A SPACE ALIEN, SAY EXPERTS... here's how you can
tell (by Michael Cassels of the "National Inquirer")
Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look human -
but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain
tip-offs, say experts.
They listed 10 signs to watch for:
1. Odd or mismatched clothes. "Often space aliens don't fully
understand the different styles, so they wear combinations
that are in bad taste, such as checked pants with a striped
shirt or a tuxedo jacket with blue jeans or sneakers," noted
Brad Steiger, a renowned UFO investigator and author.
2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. Space aliens might
eat French fires with a spoon or gobble down large amounts of
pills, the experts say.
3. Bizarre sense of humor. Space aliens who don't understand
earthly humor may laugh during a serious company training film
or tell jokes that no one understands, more...

Experts say that although Frank Sinatra is dead, his act is still 150% moreentertaining than Frank Sinatra Jr.'s.