Explain Jokes / Recent Jokes

A school inspector went to a school for his annual inspection to check the educational quality and standard of the grade 9 students. With out the presence of teacher he took over the class and started to check the knowledge of history. He address Nimal who was seated in the front row " Nimal, tell me who broke the bow of Rawana? (Nimal kiyannna Rawana ge dunnna kaduwe kawda kiyala").
Nimal replied " Sir, I never broke Rawana’s bow, somebody must have told a lie to you"
School inspector was frustrated to see the poor standard and the knowledge of history of these students. As an experienced educationist, he thought the students should not be blamed but the teacher. So he called the class teacher and blamed him " look here Mr Silva, I am very disappointed about some of the answers given by your students". Mr Silva, the class teacher very politely asked, can you explain me further?
The inspector explained " I have asked one of your more...

Time Limit: 3 weeks
Foreign Language: What Language is spoken in France?
History: Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law, and social conditions
-OR-
Give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
Literature: Would you ask William Shakespeare to
A. build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
Religion: What religion is the Pope?
A. Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (circle only one)
Metric Conversion: How many feet equal 0.0 meters?
Physics: What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
Religion: How many commandments were Moses given? (approximately)
Geography: What are people in America's far north called?
A. Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
American History: Spell Bush, Carter, and Clinton.
European History: Six kings of England have more...

Time Limit: 3 weeks
YOU MUST ANSWER TWO OR MORE QUESTIONS CORRECTLY TO QUALIFY!
1.) What language is spoken in France?
2.) Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions OR Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau.
3.) Would you ask William Shakespeare to: A. build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (D) WRITE A PLAY
4.) What religion is the Pope? (Check only one) A. Jewish (B) CATHOLIC (c) Hindu (d) Swedish (e) Agnostic
5.) Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?
6.) What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 1?
7.) How many commandments was Moses given? (Approximate)
8.) What are people in America's far north called? A.Westerners (b)Southerners (C)NORTHERNERS
9.) Spell - CAT, DOG, PIG
10.) Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the sixth. Name the previous five.
11.) more...

"My Beautiful Mommy," a new children’s book, aims to explain plastic surgery.

Other titles in the series include, "My Drunken Daddy", "My Promiscuous Sister," and "My Friendly Priest."

To All Employees: It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timecards that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). Note that unproductive time isn't a problem. What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter. Thank you, Accounting. Attached: Extended Job Code ListCode Number Explanation ---------- ----------- 5316 Useless Meeting 5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting 5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting 5319 Waiting for Break 5320 Waiting for Lunch 5321 Waiting for End of Day 5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks more...

Computer Problem Report Form1. Describe your problem: ________________________________ ________________________________2. Now, describe the problem accurately: ________________________________ ________________________________3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ________________________________ ________________________________4. Problem Severity: A. Minor __ B. Minor __ C. Minor __ D. Trivial __5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked Up __ B. Frozen __ C. Hung __ D. Strange Smell __6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes __ No __7. Is it turned on? Yes __ No __8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes __ No __9. Have you made it worse? Yes __10. Have you had a friend who knows all about computers. Try to fix it for you? Yes __ No __11. Did they make it even worse? Yes __12. Have you read the manual? Yes __ No __13. Are you sure you've read the manual? Maybe __ No __14. Are you absolutely you've read the manual? No __15. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it? Yes more...

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.