Explorer Jokes / Recent Jokes
On my last trip to Canada, I had the rare pleasure of meeting the leading historian of this great country. Out of curiosity I asked him how their county got it's name.
Below is his explanation...
There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada.
"You know," said the first explorer, "we should name this place we're hiking through."
"I agree," said the second explorer.
"Great idea" quipped the third explorer.
"We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
"Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."
The second said: "N, eh."
The first... "D, eh."
And now you know the story.
Amazon Explorer (rated)
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm fucked."
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out, "No, you are not fucked. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living crap out of the chief. As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, God's voice booms out again, "Okay.. .. NOW you're fucked."
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An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself' Oh God, I'm screwed!!!!!.'
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out:' No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you.'
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief.
As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces,
God's voice booms out again:' Okay. .... NOW you're screwed.'
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed." There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you." So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the life out of the chief. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces. The voice booms out again: "Okay. . . . NOW you're screwed."
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and inthe center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and startedto rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and hesaid "I want to know the person you hate the most"The explorer said "That's gotta be my ex-wife. Why?" "I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three wishes but whatever youwish for your ex-wife will get double the amount." "OK, I wish for a billion dollars""Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion""I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tenniscourts, everything""Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your final wish"The explorer walked around the room and came back to the genie with astick and said "Ya see this stick, I'd like you to beat me half to death."