Extraction Jokes / Recent Jokes

An attractive young lady was at the dentist for a tooth extraction.
He gave her the usual "This won't hurt a bit" line before bending over her with the proper tool in his hand.
Suddenly, he drew back in complete alarm. "Excuse me, miss," he said in a barely audible whisper, "but you have hold of my testicles!"
"Yes, I know," she said with a slight grin, "and we aren't going to hurt each other, now are we?"

La Grange, GA

Attorney Antonio Mendoza was released from a trauma center after having a cell phone removed from his rectum.

"My dog drags the thing all over the house," he said later. "He must have dragged it into the shower. I slipped on the tile, tripped against the dog and sat down right on the thing".

The extraction took more than three hours due to the fact that the cover to Mr Mendoza's phone had opened during insertion.

"He was a real trouper during the entire episode," said Dr Dennis Crobe. "Tony just cracked jokes and really seemed to be enjoying himself. Three times during the extraction his phone rang and each time, he made jokes about it that just had us rolling on the floor. By the time we finished, we really did expect to find an answering machine in there".

A Scotsman goes to the dentist and asks how much it is for a tooth extraction.

"? 85 for an extraction, Sir" was the reply.

"Och, huv yer no got nothin' cheaper?" replies the Scotsman, getting agitated.

"But that's the normal charge for an extraction, Sir," said the dentist.

"What about if yer didna use any anaesthetic?" asked the Scotsman hopefully.

"Well, it's highly unusual, Sir, but if that's what you want, I suppose I could do it for? 70," said the dentist.

"Hmmmm, what about if yer used one of yer dental trainees and still without anaesthetic?" said the Scotsman.

"Well, it's possible, but they are only training and I can't guarantee their level of professionalism, and it'll be a lot more painful. I suppose in that case we can bring the price down to say? 40," said the dentist.

"Och, that's still a bit much. How about more...

Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don't worry, it's my first extraction too.

These stories come under the heading:' 'Doc! I was minding my own business when.........

KENNETT, MO - Paramedics rescued a man who had lodged his penis in his bathroom sink drain. The man had been trying to change a light bulb above the sink when he slipped on the lip and fell. His penis sustained heavy bruising and abrasions and swelled so much that he was unable to remove it from the drain. A neighbor, hearing his shouts, called police. They broke the door down, despite the victim's fevered pleas that he was fine and in no need of assistance. Paramedics arrived within 10 minutes and administered an injection, causing the swelling to drop so that the penis could be removed without damage to it or the sink.

LOS ANGELES, CA - Attorney Antonio Mendoza, was released from a trauma center after having a cell phone removed from his rectum.' 'My dog drags the thing all over the house,'' he said later.' 'He must have dragged it into the shower. I slipped on the tile, more...