Extremely Jokes / Recent Jokes

ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION:You'll be making under $7 an hour.ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY:You'll be making under $7 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.PROFIT-SHARING PLAN:Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a profit.COMPETITIVE SALARY:We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.IMMEDIATE OPENING:The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; although a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:We have a lot of turnover.MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:Some time each night and some time each more...

Two guys were standing inside a building of a local theme park. They were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day.The area's custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris, was a very small woman (4'10"& 90 lbs) and she was having a rough time trying not to be blown away.When she asked her manager what she should do, he replied: "You have a warm down jacket don't you? Well put rocks in all the pockets!"Then a minister, who was standing nearby, suggested she say a little prayer to ask the Lord to help her cope with the wind.The park clown then sugggesed she could kill two birds with one stone by saying the prayer she said each night. He said, "You know, the one that goes:' Now I weigh me down to sweep...'"

If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down.
If the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down.

Little Johnny's birthday was coming up, so he asked his father if he could buy him a $200 bicycle.
"Johnny, we have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle?" his father replied. "Wait until Christmas!"
Christmas came, but Johnny didn't get his bike, so he asked his father again.
"Sorry, son," his father said, "but the mortgage is still extremely high. Ask me again some other time."
A couple of days later, Johnny's father saw him walking out of the house with all of his belongings packed in a suitcase. Not understanding why, his father asked him why he was leaving.
Little Johnny said, "Yesterday, I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out. Then I heard Mommy say that you should wait because she was coming, too... "
"And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna get stuck with your $80,000 mortgage!"

"European" Joke
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven. God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it,
I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor, the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, more...

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds. "Look, Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael
looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern
Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hotspot.
Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people," God more...