Extremely Jokes / Recent Jokes
An aging cattle-rancher bought a bull at a livestock auction. When he got it to the ranch house, he noticed that it was cross-eyed. Very upset that he'd received damaged goods, he called a veterinary optometrist to come out and look at his new bull's cross-eyes.
The optometrist checked out the bull's eyes, then proceeded to go to his truck for a 10 foot section of plastic hose and an air compressor. He cranked up the air compressor and hooked the hose to it, then inserted about 2 feet of the other end of the hose into the bull's colon. He then shot a highly charged spray of air into the hose, causing the bull to literally jump off the ground. He then walked around to the front of the bull and said, "Well, that takes care of his cross-eyes. They're normal now." He then handed the rancher a vet bill for $1,000.
The rancher was extremely disturbed by the $1,000 vet bill. He said, "My God, you spent all of 10 minutes with the bull and all you did was blow some air more...
>? My Boss had a "stroke of genius" and it killed him.
>
>? My Boss recently fired a gay employee. He called it "canning the fruit".
>
>? My Boss is a famous inventor. He created "the fluke".
>
>? Whenever "it's" going to hit the fan, my Boss makes sure I'm right down
>front.
>
>? I work in the company kitchen. My Boss said "If you ever drop food on the
>floor, just put it in the microwave for a few seconds to kill the germs.
>Then go ahead and put it on plates for the customers."
>
>? My Boss was complaining about how much time I used to take my wife to the
>doctor for her leukemia treatments. He said "You're making too much of
>this. We are all going to die sometime. Make sure your career doesn't die
>first."
>
>? We recently moved into a new building that didn't have enough space for
>our cubicles. I was told my cubicle wouldn't more...
ADAM & EVE
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't
find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were
earlier. Adam said, "This morning Eve and I made love for the first time."
God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve
now?"
Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."
"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
THE EPIC OF THE BAKED BEAN
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always
caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them. The
reaction of his body to the beans was swift and terrible to behold.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they
would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and more...