Eye Jokes / Recent Jokes
A camel decided to educate his son who she suspected was getting a little inquisitive.
`Mum, why do we have two humps?` asked the son.
`That is so that we can go for days and weeks without water. We can store it in the humps.`
` Then why do we have very long eye lashes mum?`
`That,` he was told, `is to protect the eyes from the sand in a sand storm.`
`And why do we have bulbous looking feet?`
`That is so that we can travel twice as fast through the desert.`
`Mum,` wispered the young camel, "Now I can understand, humps to store water, long eye lashes to protect eyes from sand storm and bulbous looking feet to travell fast in the desert, then what the hell are we doing in this zoo?`
Science definitions from Kids... H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell a oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes, and caterpillers. Blood flows down one leg and up the other. Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration. The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire. A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold. Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects. The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out more...
A policeman interrogates three blondes who are training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? ”
The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye! ”
The policeman says, “Well, uh, thats because the picture shows his profile. ”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for five seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? ”
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear! ”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?! Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with? ”
Extremely frustrated at more...
why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? breasts don't have eyes
Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect. Easy, she replied. He only has one eye. The chief was stunned. He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it! He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him. He only has one ear, was her answer. What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side! He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer. After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, He`s wearing contact lenses. This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn`t more...
A policeman was testing 3 brothers who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first one a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first one answers, "That`s easy; we`ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well... uh... that`s because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second one and asks him, "This is your suspect, and how would you recognize him?"
The second one smiles and says, "Ha! He`d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What`s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it`s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up more...