Factory Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sometimes, it seems like some people are just plain *doomed*. If you don't believe it, consider these weird incidents: *A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a river near Naples, Italy, in 1983. He managed to break a window, climb out and swim to shore - where a tree blew over and killed him. *Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed under a low-level bridge - killing him. *Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Hallas to fall down, hitting his head, and he died of a fractured skull. *George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly escaped death when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for one wall. After treatment for minor injuries, he returned to the scene to search for files. The more...

As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strips: Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2. 35; Chicken or Beef $2. 25; Children $2. 00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar. Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. No matter what more...

One Bengali is a poet.
Two Bengalis is a film society.
Three Bengalis is a political party.
Four Bengalis is two political parties.
One Punjabi is a 100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis is a Pinky with his brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis is an assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis is a combined IQ equal to one.
One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis is a caste killing.
Four Biharis is the entire literate population of Patna.
One Mallu is a coconut stall.
Two Mallus is a boat race.
Three Mallus is a Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus is an oil slick.
One UP bhaiyya is a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas is a halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas is a fist-fight in the UPassembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas is a mosque-destruction squad.
One Gujju is a share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus is a rummy game in a Bombay more...

There once was a man who worked in a pickle factory. He had this very great and
powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. This went on for
years, and finally he couldn't stand it. He decided that he had to do it.
The day he finally did it he arrived home from work at 11am. His wife was
very worried and asked what happened. For the first time, he explained to
her this long-time desire to put his dick in the pickle slicer.
The man's wife gasped and ran over to him, yanked his pants and briefs down,
and found his member perfectly intact.
"I don't understand," she exclaimed, "what happened to the pickle slicer?"
The man replied, "I think she got fired, too

This guy comes home from work at the pickle factory and his wife asks him how his day was.
"Horrible," he says. "After 10 years working at the pickle factory, they fired me."
"Why'd they fire you?" asked his wife.
"Well, me and a bunch of the guys went out to a bar during lunch and got pretty loaded. When we got back, they bet me $100 bucks that I wouldn't stick my dick in the pickle slicer."
"Well, did you?" asked his wife.
"For 100 bucks?" said the husband. "Of course I did."
"Well, is your dick OK?" asked the wife.
"It's fine."
"Well, what happened to the pickle slicer?" asked his wife.
"They fired her too."

This couple comes to a new town and the guy gets a job at the local pickle factory. After a week he is employee of the week... after a month he knows his job so well that he becomes employee of the month. A few years go by and each year he wins the employee of the year award.
One day in his 3rd year, he comes home looking all depressed. His wife asks him what the matter is, to which he responds that he got fired.
"FIRED! How can you get fired, you're always employee of the week, month and year."
To this he responds that he had another fantasy that he needed to fulfill and it got him fired. "Oh no, not again! What did you do this time?" she asks.
"Well, I always fantasized about sticking my willy in the pickle slicer."
"You didn't!?" she asks.
"Well, yes I did."
Then she asks, "Did it hurt?"
"No not really."
Puzzled she then asks, "Well what happened to the pickle more...

There's this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following sign: "This parking space belongs to the Wizard.... Violators will be toad."