Factory Jokes / Recent Jokes

A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo dolls." It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two----Test----Tickles."

What's the definition of innocence? A nun working in a condom factory,
thinking she's making little sleeping bags for mice.

141. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
142. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.
143. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
144. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1:
10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
145. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
146. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
147. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
148. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
149. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your more...

141. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool? A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.142. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU? A: Too many blondes were drowning.143. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.144. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.145. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.146. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading.147. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's.148. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.149. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.150. Q: Why did Bush more...

Ed was employed at a pickle factory. After working there for a number of years, he came home one day and confessed to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. Hearing this, his wife suggested he see a sex therapist to talk about it. Ed told her that he would be much too embarrassed, but vowed to overcome his complusion on his own.
A few weeks later, Ed came home looking very ashen. His wife could tell immediately that something was seriously wrong. "Ed, what's wrong?" she asked.
"Remember I told you how I had this overwhelming urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" he asked. "Ed, you didn't!!" his wife said. "Yes, I did." Ed said.
"My God, Ed, what happened?" she asked. "I got fired," replied Ed.
"No, Ed. What I mean is, what happened with the pickle slicer?" his wife asked.
"Oh, well she got fired too!"

Did they mean these ads to read as they do?
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

A factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you."
"Gosh, it's nice to hear that, but I'm kind of surprised," admitted Smith. "You know that I argue every bill and always pay late."
The factory owner said, "I'd still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred."