Fairy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating
their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy
appeared to congratulate them and grant them
each one wish.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy
waved her wand and poof - the wife had tickets in her
hand for a world cruise.

Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted.

He said; "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger
than me."

So the the fairy picked up her wand and poof -
the husband was 90.

Cinderella wanted to go to the ball one night, but she didn't have any tampons to use and she was on the rags. Her Fairy Godmother came to the rescue and turned a pumpkin next to Cinderella's house into a tampon. The Godmother says, "Now use the tampon, but be sure to get back home before midnight or it will turn back into a pumpkin, and that wouldn't be good." Cinderella agrees and leaves the house.
Midnight comes along... no Cinderella, 1am, 2am and 3am, still no Cinderella!
Finally, 5am rolls by and Cinderella waltzes through the door and the fairy godmother jumps up. "Where the hell have you been?!?" To which Cinderella replies, "I met this amazing guy, and well, before I knew it, we got into a serious bang session. His name was Peter Peter....."

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge!

What do wives and proctologists have in common?
They always have to deal with a pain in the ass.

What's the difference between husbands and prisoners?
Prisoners complain behind bars. Husbands complain in them.

When does a man feel like watering the garden?
After having a six pack.

What's the difference between a happy marriage and a fairy tale?
Fairy tales happen at least once upon a time.

What do women and tax forms have in common?
Men love to cheat on them.

What does a married man say after sex?
Don't tell my wife.

What's the best part of marriage?
Divorce.

Why do husbands appreciate hell?
At least there, they know what they did wrong.

Remember: The Bible says to "Love thy neighbor," but make sure her husband isn't home first.

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" You must be home by 2 a. m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a. m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a. m., Cinderella shows up, looking love- struck and **very** satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." I know of no prince with that kind of power Tell me his name" I can't remember, exactly. .. Peter Peter, something or more...

After she was finished with Cinderella, the fairy godmother paid a visit on another poor young girl, Minuetta. Extremely flat-chested, the woman is convinced that her life would improve if only she had large breasts.
"All right," the fairy godmother said. "How about we fix it so that every time a man says 'pardon' to you, your breasts grow a bit."
Delighted with the arrangement, Minuetta goes to the market next day. Bumping into the woodcutter, she's delighted when he tips his hat, says, "I beg your pardon," and her breasts grow nearly an inch. Later, when a coachmean accidentally splashes mud on her, he stops and says, "Pardon me." Her breasts grow again.
Smiling radiantly when she reaches the market, she goes to the vegetable stand and asks the Arab merchant for some bread. While he's handing it to her, he accidentally knocks a tub of jam on her dress.
"Oh dear," he bows and scrapes, "a thousand pardons!"

A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, “Well, I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me. ” The fairy picked up her wand and boom! He was 90!!