Falling Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tips on Love (by kids, 5-10 years of age):
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."(Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."(Tom, 5)
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."(Mike, 10)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."(Kally, 9)
THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? "It's more...

Tips on Love (by kids, 5-10 years of age):WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."(Judy, 8)"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."(Tom, 5)WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."(Mike, 10)WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."(Kally, 9)THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? "It's better for girls to be single more...

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy Mackerel! A talking chicken!"' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tom, 5) WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 9) WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10) CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE: "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deoderant are so popular." (Jan, 9) ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE: "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
(Roger, 9) "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7) ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE: "If you more...

Santa was asked to try out a new parachute with a radio link to a guy on the ground, the guy on the ground would say when to pull the release cord for the parachute.
Santa jumped out of the plane and started to fall when he reached a thousand feet the guy on the ground said ok pull the release cord now, Santa didn`t take any notice and kept falling.
He got down to 500 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord you are getting close, but Santa just ignored him and kept falling.
He got down to 100 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord, Santa still ignored him.
He got down to 10 feet, the guy on the ground said this is your last chance you`ll be killed if you don`t pull the cord now.
Santa replied, "Thats ok. I can jump from here!!"

Santa was asked to try out a new parachute with a radio link to a guy on the ground, the guy on the ground would say when to pull the release cord for the parachute.
Santa jumped out of the plane and started to fall when he reached a thousand feet the guy on the ground said ok pull the release cord now, Santa didn't take any notice and kept falling.
He got down to 500 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord you are getting close, but Santa just ignored him and kept falling.
He got down to 100 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord, Santa still ignored him.
He got down to 10 feet, the guy on the ground said this is your last chance you'll be killed if you don't pull the cord now.
Santa replied, "Thats ok. I can jump from here!!"

There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.
I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,
But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?
Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day;
If my names not there, I'll once again start -
Perfecting the art of falling apart