Falling Jokes

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, ''What can I do?''
The Colonel says, ''I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican.''
The Pope replies, ''I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words.''
So the Colonel hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again.
''Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll give you $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'''
And the Pope responds, ''It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the more...

There are four people on a plane. a guy from england, a guy from france, a guy from texas, and a guy from mexico, all of a sudden the plane starts falling out of the sky. The pilot says "We a losing altitude we need to get rid of some weight. So they throw everything out of the plane, but its still falling. So the english guy says" for the queen" and jumps out, the french guy says" vi va la france" and jumps out. The texan say "for the alamo" he grabs the mexican and throws him out.

In a certain church, the priest found out that the members made frequent confessions of having sex or committing adultery so much that he openly decided on a coded line to be used by the members to make this confession.The line was "I have fallen". Pretty soon, a new priest was brought to the church.
This man of God knew nothing about the code.At a general meeting of Presbyters, he told the elders of many members complaining of falling when they came for confessions and asked if the pavements and floors could be redone to arrest the situation.At this, one of the prominent elders burped into an uncontrollable round of laughter.The priest thinking this man was not taking the matter seriously, looked sternly at the man and remarked,"Well Mr Arthur, if you dont care about others falling, today is a Wednesday and to tell you the truth, your wife has fallen thrice since Monday, which means she falls at least once a day.Who knows, it may increase to ten times if situation more...

Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. “My sergeants are wonderful”, said one soldier.
“I wish I could say the same about mine, ” said the other.
“You could if you could lie as I do. ”

A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped and began falling into a precipice.
“Are you hurt? ” asked another.
“I don’t know yet, ” a weak voice was heard, “am still falling! ”

There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by, And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie. My hair's getting thinner, my body is not; The few teeth I have are beginning to rot. I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5; My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive. When asked of my past, every detail I'll know, But what was I doing 10 minutes ago? Well, you get the idea, what more can I say? I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day; If my names not there, I'll once again start -Perfecting the art of falling apart