Famous Jokes / Recent Jokes
A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret? Yes, the professor ansvered. When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not se it so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now. Well, said the gatekeeper. That is a very minor sin. You may enter. Thank you very much, Saint Peter, the professor ansvered. Im am not Saint Peter, said the gatekeeper. He is having his lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas.
140
Ice Cream was discovered by Gerald Tisyum
141
The number regarded as lucky number in Italy is thirteen
142
Napoleon suffered from alurophobia which means fear of cats
143
The aeroplanes was used in war for the first time by Italians (14 Oct.1911)
144
Slavery in America was abolished by Abraham Lincoln
145
The Headquarters of textile manufacturing in England is
Manchester
146
The famous island located at the mouth of the Hudson river is Manhattan
147
The founder of plastic industry was Leo Hendrik Bakeland
148
The country where military service is compulsory for women is Israel
149
The country which has more than 10,000 golf courses is
USA
150
The famous painting 'Mona Lisa' is displayed at Louvre Museum, Paris
151
The earlier name for tomato was love apple
152
The first President of USA was George Washington
153
The famous words 'Veni Vidi Vici' were said by Julius more...
A top movie producer was discussing his new project, an
action docudrama about famous composers, with several
top stars --- Stallone, Schwarzenneger and Van Damme.
The three action stars were allowed to select what famous
composers they would portray.
"Well", started Stallone, "I have always admired Mozart. I
would love to play him."
"Chopin has always been my favourite", said Van Damme.
"I'll play him."
The producer was pleased. "Sounds splendid! And who
do you want to portray, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach," he replied......
Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes.
Morris shouts across the garage, "Hey DeBakey! Is that you? "Come on over here a minute!" The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on the car.
Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at this here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind' em, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and me is doing basically the same work?"
Dr. DeBakey leaned over and whispered to Morris the loudmouth mechanic...
"Now try doing it with the engine running!"
Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Water BedNixon: His biggest fear: the Cold War
Clinton: His biggest fear: a Cold SoreNixon: Carpet bombing
Clinton: Carpet burnsNixon: His Vice President was a Greek
Clinton: His Vice President was a geekNixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger
Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing herNixon: Couldn't explain the 18-minute gap in the Watergate tape
Clinton: Couldn't explain the 36-DD bra in his brief caseNixon: His nickname was Tricky Dick
Clinton: No differenceNixon: Ex-President
Clinton: Sex-PresidentNixon: Known for campaign slogan "Nixon's The One"
Clinton: Known for women pointing at him and saying "He's the one"Nixon: Famous for his widow's peak
Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peakNixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy
Clinton: Well acquainted with G SpotNixon: Took on Ho Chi Minh
Clinton: Took on a HoNixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor
Clinton: Talked of getting a piece more...
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the Garage, ”Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute. ”
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, “So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ‘em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one.
So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? ”
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: What did he say?
He said: “Try to do it when the engine is running”.