Famous Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Similarities between presidents Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton": Nixon: Watergate Clinton: Water BedNixon: His biggest fear: the Cold War Clinton: His biggest fear: a Cold SoreNixon: Carpet bombing Clinton: Carpet burnsNixon: His Vice President was a Greek Clinton: His Vice President is a geekNixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing herNixon: Couldn't explain the 18-minute gap in the Watergate tape Clinton: Couldn't explain the 38-DD bra in his briefcaseNixon: His nickname was Tricky Dick Clinton: No differenceNixon: Ex-President Clinton: Sex-PresidentNixon: Known for campaign slogan "Nixon's The One" Clinton: Know for women pointing at him and say "He's the one"Nixon: Famous for his widow's peak Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peakNixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy Clinton: Well acquainted with G SpotNixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor Clinton: Talked of getting a piece while on her
Have you ever wondered why the calendar is so famous?
It has 365 dates a year.
History Of The World According To Actual Grade School Student Exam Papers!1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in Hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died beforehe ever reached Canada.3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had Myths. A Myth is a female moth.5. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.6. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death his career suffered a dramatic decline.7. Eventually the more...
Which burger is famous for a long nose? Cyrano de Burgerac!
A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. "It happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world," she boasted. "The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz." "What a diamond!""How lucky you are!""Wait, wait, nothing in life is all mazel ", said the diamonded lady, "Unfortunately, with this famous Lipshitz diamond you must take the famous Lipshitz curse!"The ladies buzzed and asked, "And what's the Lipshitz curse?" "Lipshitz," sighed the lady.
Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs If there's a war you can surrender really early You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries You can be ugly and still become a famous film star Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride People think you're a great lover even when you're not
...where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist plot....the first Presidents dentures and I'll show you the George Washington Bridge....a pharaoh who ate crackers in bed and I'll show you a crummy mummy....a squirrels nest and I'll show you a nutcracker suite....Santa's helpers and I'll show you subordinate clauses....a famous surgeon and I'll show you a big operator....a cat which just ate a lemon and I'll show you a sour puss....a cross between a fox and a mink and I'll show you a fink....a one word commercial and I'll show you an adverb....a famous composer's liquor cabinet and I'll show you Beethoven's Fifth....Eve's perfume and I'll show you Adam's balm....a man convicted of two crimes and I'll show you a compound sentence....a singing beetle and I'll show you a humbug....two dozen satisfied rabbits and I'll show you 24 carats....a burned out post-office and I'll show you a case of blackmail....a young lad's bed and I'll show you a boy cot....a workman who dismantles a more...