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15 iBank app tracks how many organs you'll need to sell to pay off the cost of it.

14 Keeps popping up messages give you the address of someone named Sara Conner.

13 Reassurance Generator application continually reminds you that you are indeed smarter *and* cooler than a Windows user.

12 Continuous GPS monitoring of Paris Hilton.

11 When the new iPhone model comes out in four months, you can put this one under the short leg of a table to make it perfectly level.

10 Renders certain other hand-held devices inoperable with "Blackberry Jam" feature.

9 Flipped upside down, it doubles as a Fleshlight.

8 Plus: Beatles ringtones put money in Paul McCartney's pocket.
Minus: Beatles ringtones put money in Yoko Ono's pocket.

7 Tghe toiuchsxcreenb keytpadf isd reaslklyt accuyraterf abnd eadsy toi usre.

6 Comes pre-loaded with naked pictures of Peter Jackson, Kevin Smith and the cast more...

Dear Mr. Architect,

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.

My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don`t have nearly enough insulation in them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. more...

A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year instead of before it.
Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would just die for no reason. You'd have to restart it, and for some strange reason, you'd just accept this.
You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bought the Car 95 or Car NT Version, but then you'd have to buy more seats.
You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a sec, it's that way NOW.
Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, five times as fast, but only run on 5% of the roads.
The oil, alternator, fuel, temperature, engine warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they have been available in other brands for years.
We more...

Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs

Your coat-of-arms features kudzu.
Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.