Feed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it
las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow
in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.

Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but
all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with
andouille an made some gumbo out of dem.

Day 3 Dear Boudreaux, Why doan you sent some crawfish? I'm tired of
eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens
to Marie Trahan over at Grans Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog,
Phideaux. Marie needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.

Day 4 Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more dem darn birds. Deez
four, what you call dem "calling birds" were so noisy you could hear dem
all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps, an
fed de rest of dem to de gators.

Day 5 Dear Boudreaux, You finally more...

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide
me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They
must be gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide
me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I
must be a god!

A farmer walks down to the Farm and Ranch Store to buy a bucket. When he gets there, they have some chickens and geese for sale, cheap.
Well, the fellow picks a goose and two chickens, and gets a bag of feed. He thinks for a minute and says, "Hey, how am I gonna carry all this home?"
The store manager says, "Well, put the feed in the bottom of the bucket, the goose on top, and carry a chicken under each arm."
The farmer gives it a try, and he starts home. A couple of blocks down the street, he runs into old Widow Smith, who's a little disoriented.
She says, "I don't remember which way my house is."
The farmer says, "Come on Miz Smith; you don't live far. Let's take this shortcut through the alley, and we'll have you home in no time."
Miz Smith exclaims, "Well, how do I know you won't molest me once we're in this back alley?"
The farmer says, "My God, woman, I got my hands full, how would I do more...

General Tikka Khan of Pakistan and his troops left behind a sizeable anthology of jokes in Bangladesh which are still recounted there. The pattern of those jokes is very much the same as those manufactured by the Jews under Hitlerite tyranny.
A farmer brought his prize rooster to sell in the market.' What do you feed that bird that he is so big?' asked a Pathan solider of the Pakistan army.'
'I feed it rice, sir,' replied the farmer.
'How dare you waste rice on the bird while we are short of food?' said the Pathan and seized the bird.
The next day the farmer brought another rooster to sell.' What do you feed that bird that he is so big?' demanded a Baluch soldier of the Pakistan army.
'Sir, I feed it with ghee,' replied the farmer.
'How dare your waste ghee on a bird while we are short of food!' swore the Baluchi as he seized the bird.
On the third day the poor farmer brought his last remaining rooster to the market. This time a Punjabi Mussalman more...

DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWS

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of more...

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Collection of Shuttle Joke "SHUTTLE JOKES
Q: Did you know that Christa McAuliffe was blue eyed?
A: One blew left and one blew right.
Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words?
A: "What's this button do?"
Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words to her husband?
A: "You feed the kids - I'll feed the fish."
Q: What was the Shuttle's last transmission?
A: "I said BUD LITE!"
Q: What does NASA stand for?
A1: Need Another Seven Astronauts
A2: Need Another Shuttle Also
A3: Chicken Kiev Q: Did you know why there was only one black crew member on Challenger?
A: They didn't know it was going to blow up.
Q: Did you know that NASA has a new space drink?
A: Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't
get 7-UP.
Q: When the next shuttle launches into space, what will the senior
controller say?
A: "72, 73, 74 BOOM! - Just kidding guys!"
Q: more...

ATTENTION: All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D. C. to visit Willy Jeff1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed. 2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks). 3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle. 4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon. 5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops. 6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or boarding house. If they don't more...