Fence Jokes / Recent Jokes
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-
foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around
the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next
enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll
go?"
The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody
locks the gate at night!"
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
A big-city lawyer, from Washington, D.C., went duck hunting in the South Carolina Low country. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell in to a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going in to retrieve it." The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the US and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in South Carolina. Down here we settle small disagreements like this with the Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "A Three Kick Rule. What is the Three-Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three more...
There was a fence that divided Heaven from Hell. One day God notices that the devil's side is in pretty bad shape. It is falling down, badly in need of paint, weeds growing up around it, etc. So, God hollers over the fence, “Hey Satan, why don't you fix up your side of the fence?”Satan hollers back, “Why don't you mind your own business.”So God says, “I'll hire a lawyer and sue you if you don't.”The devil replies, "Yeah, right. Where are YOU going to find a lawyer?"
From Dick Reboulet, circa 1966:
A prize bull and a prize cow got together and decided they'd have a little
prize calf. So they did. When he was born, they decided he'd have the
best of everything-food, education,... So they kept him in a little
compound separated from the hoi polloi. But as he reached puberty, he
looked out through the chain-link fence at all the cows out there, and
drooled. He would back up to the far corner of his pen, and study the
top of the barbed-wire topped fence. He always concluded he couldn't
make it. But one day, he decided he was big and strong enough. He backed
up to the farthest corner, and ran like hell. He jumped over the fence,
and made it, almost. Just then, papa bull came ambling along the fence
line, noticed his son bleeding, noticed what was hanging on the barbed
wire atop the fence, noticed his son bleeding... At last he consoled
his son: Don't worry, son, you can always be a consultant.
Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.
Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it."
Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it."
Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount."
Lucifer: "Ha! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"