Fence Jokes / Recent Jokes

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"

Many countries participating in the olympics fear that the Mexican Pole Vaulting team will take the gold as a result of the US border fence.

Q: What do you call a chinese woman the size of a fence?
A: Pai Ling
(pailing)

A man walks to work every day. On his way there he always passes the local insane asylum.

Well, one day when he was walking by the asylum. He heard all the patients on the other side of the tall wood fence chanting "Fifteen, Fifteen". He became very curious but had no way of knowing what was going on.

The chanting became louder "Fifteen, Fifteen, Fifteen", and his curiosity became stronger. What were they doing? His imagination went wild.... were they torturing fifteen people, were they counting something he did not want to know about? He could not stand the suspense.

He finally saw a little knot whole in the fence, just big enough to look through. He walked up to it cautiously and ducked down to look in it.

All the sudden he got pocked in the eye with someone's finger. The chanting changed to "Sixteen, Sixteen, Sixteen".

An elderly couple are enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a
small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the
first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this
tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you.
"Yes," she says, I remember it well.
"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake.
"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.
They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the more...

THE SETTING: A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. Piled it for months. But do they call me McGregor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo.."
Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGregor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGregor-the-Pier- Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention. "But ya mess around more...

Whats the time when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to change the fence!!!