Fianc Jokes

The engagement
Nicki tells his mum that he has got engaged at last. His mother is happy but a little bit worried as well. She just has to ask him, "Is she Jewish?"
"Of course she is, mum. I`ll bring her to dinner this evening so you can meet her."
That night Nicki arrives with three beautiful women - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.
"Mother I want you to guess who is my fiancé." says Nicki smiling.
But his mother is not pleased at all. All she wanted to do was to speak to her son’s fiancé one to one first without playing silly games. She doesn`t know where to start. She waits patiently and gives it some thought. When the meal is over, she calls Nicki into the kitchen.
"I know which one she is." She says.
"Which one, then, mum?" asks Nicki.
"The blonde"
"Yes, you`re right. How on earth did you guess?"
"I knew as soon as I saw her, I couldn`t stand the more...

Q: What does a mathematician present to his fiancée when he wants to propose?
A: A polynomial ring!

A nice Jewish girl brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiancée to his study for some Schnapps. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the fiancé. "I am a Torah scholar," he replies. "A Torah scholar." the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?" "I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father. "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us." "And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancé. The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father more...

A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink.
"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.
"I am a Torah scholar," he replies.
"A Torah scholar. Hmm." the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in as she's accustomed to?"
"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?" asks the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fianc.
The conversation more...

A naive young girl goes into the doctor's office. She says, "Doc, I'm getting married and I'm a little inexperienced, so I'd like to ask you a few questions." He says, "All right." She says, "All right... what is that thing that hangs between my fiancé's legs?" The doctor says, "That's the penis. The male organ, the penis." She says, "Okay. And what is that big red knob at the end?" The doctor says, "That's the glans. The head of the penis, the glans." She says, "Okay. And what are those two round things, about twelve inches behind the head?" The doctor says, "Well, lady, I don't know about your fiancé, but on me, they're the cheeks of my ass."