Fifty Jokes / Recent Jokes
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Noting that he needed a haircut before his meeting the following day, he called the desk clerk and asked if they had a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid we don't, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purpose."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, stuck his head in the opening, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. A few seconds later, the salesman pulled his head out and surveyed it in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he had ever had.
Proceeding down the hall, he saw another machine with a sign that read: Manicures - 50 cents. "Why not," thought the salesman. He put his money in the slot, inserted his hands, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine he saw had a huge sign that read: This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away more...
One evening Premadasa is jogging at the Independannce Square Sports Grounds. He sees this beaytiful
whore at the bus stop near the other end og the jogging track and approaches her.
"How much?" asks Premadasa.
"Hundred and fifty ruppees." comes the reply.
"Damn too much, Ten ruppees?" suggests Prem.
"Hundred and Fifty" the lady won't budge. So Prem goes away jogging.
The next evening he sees the same woman at the bus stop.
"How much?" asks Prem thinking that he will get a better deal today.
"Hundred and fifty ruppees." comes the reply.
"No no, too much, Ten ruppees?" suggests Prem.
"Hundred and Fifty" the lady again won't budge. So Prem goes away jogging.
The third evening Hema joins Prem for a jog. Both are jogging along the track and Prem sees the lady
again. This time Prem ignores her (because of the obvious reason that Hema is with him) and more...
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.
Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures 25 cents." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - cost 50 cents." The salesman more...
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures 25 cents." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - cost 50 cents." The salesman was embarrassed more...
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.
Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures - 25 cents." "Why not," thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides more...
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye." The bartender says, "Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!" So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it.
The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks away. He comes back half an hour later and says, "I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my left eye." Now the bartender becomes really skeptical. She says, "I just saw you walk in here -- you can't be blind!" So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye. The bartender pays him his money and he walks away.
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now."I would like my grandchildren to say,' He was successful in business'," declared the first man."Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say,' He was a loyal family man'."Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?""Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age'!"