Figures Jokes / Recent Jokes

...the makers of Dungeons & Dragons have added 3 new mythical figures to its popular role playing game, the first new figures since the game was created. The new figures include the Manticore, the Fire Breather, and the Honest Politician.

3 men are washed up on an island after being shipwrecked. The island is inhabited by natives and they don't like trespassers. So they are put on trial to see what their punishment is.
The tribe takes the first guy and ties him to a tree.
They ask him, "Would you rather have Bongo, or death?"
The man figures anything is better than death so he chooses bongo. 5 naked men come out of the forest and screw him up the ass.
They tie the second man to a tree and ask him, "Bongo or death?"
The second man still thinks it's better than death so he chooses Bongo. 20 men come out from the forest and screw the man up the ass.
Then they tie the third man to a tree and ask him, "Bongo or death?"
The man figures he would rather die then be screwed by whatever amount of men will come out of that forest, so he chooses death.
The native chief says, "Very well, you will die by... BONGO!"

Cromwell and Rasputin
by
as submitted to
Dr. Richard King
The following essay was an actual submission by a student, who was given the assignment: ''Write a term paper
comparing and contrasting two revolutionary figures of your
choice. The figures are to be selected from different
periods of European history.''
Unlike most papers of student bloopers, which are collaborative
efforts, this one is the work of the exceptionally fruitful pen
of a single student. Read it and enjoy!
The English and the Russian revolutions had a leader
that stood out to have an effect on the revolution. For the
Russian it was Rasputin. He was born in the reign of the
Tsar-Emperor Alexander the Second, absolute ruler of over a
hundred million people consisting of fifty some nationalities
and speaking nearly two-hundred-different languages or
dialects. This empire stretched from the Prussian border to
beyond the Pacific Ocean. Rasputin was more...