Fine Jokes / Recent Jokes

Having been dismissed from office, Ye Heng returned to his native place. One day he fell ill and said to the visitors who had come to see him: " I'm going to die, but I don't know how things are in the netherworld." "Things are just fine down there," answered one of the gentlemen. "How do you know?" Queried Ye, amazed. "If not," explained that gentlemen," those who had died and gone there would flee the netherworld and come back, Since no one who had died ever came back, things down there must be very fine." At this utterance, the company broke out into loud guffaws.

What are the principle differences between a Philosophy student, an engineering student and a fine arts student?
The Philosophy student asks,"Why?"
The Engineering student asks, "How?"
The Fine Arts student asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

One fine Irish morning, a guy is out on the golf course and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one but, unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.
He goes searching for his ball and comes across a wee little fellow with a huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer, as he proceeds to revive the poor little fellow.
Upon awaking, the little fellow says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes."
The golfer says, "I couldn't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and he walks away.
Watching the golfer leave, the leprechaun thinks, "Well, he was a very nice guy, and he did catch me, so I must do something for him. I'll give him three things that I would want, unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life."
A year goes by and the same golfer is out golfing on the more...

Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"
"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"
"And the boar tore up his leg?"
"No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and' fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved' em all!"
"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"
"No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the more...

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, & are watching the auctioning off of bulls.
The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, & comments, "See! That was more than 5 times a month!"
The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."
Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!"
Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"
The husband was pretty irritated by now, & yells back, "Sure, once a day! more...

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.
The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:
"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments,
"See! That was more than 5 times a month!"
The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."
Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month.
What do YOU say to that?!"
Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells,
"That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"
The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, more...

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments,"See! That was more than 5 times a month!"The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month.What do YOU say to that?!"Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!"The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells,"That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, "Sure, once a day! But ask the announcer if they were all more...