Finger Jokes / Recent Jokes

it is 10:00 at the police station and there is only 2 officers working that day...Billy-Bob and Billi-Jo.
billy-bob: hey billi-jo...can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob! :>
...now its 11:00 at the police station...
billy-bob: hey billi-jo...can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob! :>
...now its midnight... and the power goes out...!!
billy-bob: hey billi-jo...can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob! :>
wait?! billy-bob thats not my belly-button.
billy-bob: i know...:> and thats not my finger! :>

How to identify a Canadian driver:1. - One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL2. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO3. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA4. - Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO5. - Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY6. - One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER7. - One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER8. - Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, raccoon tails attached to the antenna: PRINCE GEORGE9. - Two hands gripping wheel, more...

A cop stops his patrol car when he sees Banta and his girlfriend sitting on the curb. Banta is laying on his side with his pants pulled down, the girl has her finger in his butt, and she's reaming away with a vengeance.
The cop says, "What the hell is going on?"
The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke."
The cop says, "That's not going to make him puke."
She says, "Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth."

Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with
the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh
replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your
finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my
face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth
and I thought I just paid Rs. 1, 000 to get my teeth
straightened.
So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this
is going
to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my
other ear
before I pulled the trigger.

How to identify a Canadian driver: 1. - One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL2. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO3. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA4. - Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO5. - Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY6. - One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER7. - One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER8. - Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, raccoon tails attached to the antenna: PRINCE GEORGE9. - Two hands gripping more...

This blonde goes to the doctor, the doctor asks what's wrong? She takes her finger and says while she points my head hurts, my breast hurts, my knee hurts, and my foot hurts. The doctor asks are you really a red head? She gose no i'm a blonde. The doctor says no wonder your finger is broke.

This lady in N.Y. City use to go to a corner store that sells ducks and she was known to go there to by a Long Island duck at all times, one day she did her usual routine and stop at that corner store to by a Long Island duck, she notest a new owner operating the store so she ask him for a Long Island duck, the man went to the back and grab a duck and give it to her, she toke the duck, put's her finger in the ducks ass and says, excuse me sir but I asked for a Long Island duck and this is a new jersey duck, so the man looked at her, went to the back and grab another duck, gives it to her and again she put's her finger in the duck's ass and says, excuse me again sir but I've told you that I want a Long Island duck and this is a New York duck, the man looked at her angry, goes to the back and grabs another one and gives it to her, she did the inspection again and said, sir, finally you got it right, this is a long Island duck! By the way sir you look new here, where you from? The man more...