Finger Jokes / Recent Jokes

If a leper gives you the finger, do you have to give it back?

A fresh graduate was offered the job of a History Teacher in a Gujarati school. So he brought a glass of water with him in the class and started teaching in Gujarati. He showed the glass to the whole class, and asked, "Can you tell me what is this?"
Students found fun in this approach and in one loud voice responded, "Glass of Water."

Then he showed his middle finger, and asked, "What is this?'

The class in a unified voice boomed, "Your finger."

Then he dipped his finger in the water and asked, "What is this?'

The class loudly said, "Your finger in the water?"

The teacher pulled the finger out of water, kept it pointed towards earth and asked, "What is this?"

The class said, "Your finger out of water."

Then he pointed at a water drop accumulated at the figure tip about to fall, and asked again, "What is this?

The whole more...

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this...when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"

Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselvesstanding before the pearly gates of Heaven, where StPeter and the Devil were standing nearby." Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact thatHeaven is now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed tolimit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone ofyou can ask me a question which I don't know or cannotanswer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell." The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the mostcomprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snapof his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct." Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, thephilsopher disappeared. The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicatedformula you more...

A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to' enforce the laws pending.' He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said,' Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?'

The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said,' This here's a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?'

The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said,' This here's an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?'

The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license. The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said,' This here's an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon more...

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women.
Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this - When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"

One day a little boy was sitting on santas lap.
Santa puts his finger on the boy nose and says, ”I bet you’re name is (spells out) J I M M Y. ” Jimmys eyes lit up in excitement.
Santa puts his finger on Jimmys nose and says, ”I bet you want a B I K E. ” Again Jimmy was surprised, then gets a wierd look on his face and says, ”Santa, I bet you like G I R L S. ”Santa says “Yes, how do you know? ”Jimmy says, ”Cuz you’re finger smells like P *** Y. ”