Finger Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "It's obvious that men enjoy sex more than women. Why else do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove a thing," countered the woman. "Think of it this way: when you have an itchy ear and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull your finger out, which feels better - your ear or your finger?"

One of Microsoft Network's finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp.

At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which was fifty yards away.

The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target.

The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then once more at the target. He placed his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.

The end of his finger was blown off -- whereupon he yelled toward the target area...

"It's leaving here just fine; the trouble must be at your end!"

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women.Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?""That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this - When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

It's Father O'Brien's night to hear confessions, and there are four nuns in the lineup. The first nun goes into the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I should let you know right off that I touched a man with my finger!"
"Oh lass!' Tis nothin', you could have been in a crowded elevator or some similar place," the priest says.
"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I touched him right on his private parts!" >
"You slut! You filthy tart!" screams the good father. "Say a hundred Hail Mary's and dip your finger in the holy water on the way out of the church!" Which she does.
The second nun enters the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I want to say that I held a man with my hand."
"Oh lass!' Tis nothin', you might have stumbled and he lent you a hand," the priest says.
"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I more...

Confucious say: Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Man who stand on toilethigh on pot. It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better forboy to park meat in girl! Man who jizz in cash register come intomoney. Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time. Man who fartin church must sit in own pew. Man who finger girl having period getcaught red handed. Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam. Baseballwrong--man with four balls cannot walk. Man who eat many prunes getgood run for money. Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up withsmelly finger. Learn to masturbate--come in handy. Woman who pounceon dead rooster go down on limp cock. Man who buy drowned cat mustpay for wet pussy. Virgin like balloon--one prick, all gone.

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this - When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"