Fired Jokes / Recent Jokes
In prison: You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At work: You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison: You get three meals a day.
At work: You get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
In prison: You get time off for good behavior.
At work: You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison: A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work: You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison: You can watch TV and play games.
At work: You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison: You get your own toilet.
At work: You have to share.
In prison: They allow your family and friends to visit.
At work: You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison: All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At work: You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from you more...
Q. Why were Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie fired from their "Simple Life" job at a banana company? A. They threw out all of the bent ones.
Q. Why was the blonde fired from the m&m factory?
A. She threw out all the w's!
IN PRISON... You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK..... You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON... You get three meals a day. AT WORK..... You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON... You get time off for good behavior. AT WORK..... You get rewarded for good behavior with more work. IN PRISON... A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK..... You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. IN PRISON... You can watch TV and play games. AT WORK..... You get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON... You get your own toilet. AT WORK..... You have to share. IN PRISON... They allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK..... You cannot even speak to your family and friends. IN PRISON... All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. AT WORK..... You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for more...
A young man entered the company's Human Resources Department and handed the executive his application. After reviewing the papers the executive noticed that the applicant had been fired from every job he had ever had.
"Young man," the executive said, "I've looked over your work history and it is terrible. You have been fired from every job!" "Yes," replied the applicant.
"There really isn't anything very positive in that," said the executive.
"Well, at least I'm not a quitter!" the young man replied.
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy. Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large more...