Fireman Jokes / Recent Jokes

A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off. Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady. As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.

a blonde walking through her house notices that her house is on fire so she quickly calls the local fire department. when the local fireman answers the phone the blonde says please help my house is on fire, the fireman says ok now how do i get there? the blond replies "duh" BIG RED TRUCK.

A fireman looked out of the firehouse window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. He had small ladders hung on the side of his little red wagon, and a garden hose coiled up in it. He was wearing a fireman's hat. He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon. The fireman thought this was really cute, so he went out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he had. As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles.

The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to tell you how to run your fire company or anything, but I think if you would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster."

"Maybe so," said the little boy, "but then I'd lose my siren!"

An excited man calls the fire department and says, "Help me, my house is on fire!!" The fireman says, "Where do you live?"

The man replies, "I am too excited, I can't tell you the exact address."

The fireman asks, "How do you expect us to get there?"

The man replies, "What do you mean' how'? The big red truck."

Three old timers were relating their most exciting experiences.

The first, a retired sheriff, described the terrifying excitement of a shoot-out with Bonnie and Clyde back in his younger days. The other gents nodded and agreed that, indeed, would have been exciting.

The second, a retired fireman, related the tale of a huge fire at the university several years back. There were flames, fire trucks from several area fire departments, but the most exciting part were the naked coeds jumping from their dorm windows into his arms. The others gents agreed that had to be a very exciting time.

The third guy started, "I was an undertaker. One night I got a call to pick up a body that was under a sheet in a hotel room. When I got there, the guy had a huge erection. I knew there was no way I could get him through the lobby like that. So I found an old broom and whacked that erection just as hard as I could to make it go down." He paused. The retired more...

A mailman walked down the street and saw Little Johnny playing in a pile of shit, had it between his fingers and smeared over his body.
The mailman asked him what he was doing and Johnny looked up and said, "Making a Mailman".
This pissed the mailman off, he went up the street and saw a fireman. He told the fireman what the boy was doing and what a smart ass the kid was, the fireman said that he would have a talk with the boy.
The fireman walked up to Little Johnny and asked him what was he doing playing in pile of shit, Johhny looked up and said, "Making a Fireman."
This pissed the fireman off, he left to tell a cop. The cop said that he would have a talk with the boy. The cop asked Little Johnny, "What are you doing, playing with a pile of shit?"
Little Johnny looked up and said nothing.
The cop said, "You told the mailman and the fireman that you were making a fireman and a mailman, why don't you tell me that you are making more...

A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife,
"We really have a wonderful system at the Fire Dept."
Bell 1 rings, we all put on our coats.
Bell 2 rings, and we all slide down the pole.
Bell 3 rings, and we are all on the truck ready to go.
From now on we are going to run this house the same.
When I say: Bell 1, you strip naked.
Bell 2, you jump into bed.
Bell 3, we are going to make love all night"
The next night when he came home from work and yelled:
"Bell 1! She took off all her clothes.
"Bell 2!" She jumped into bed.
"Bell 3!" They began making love.
After a few minutes she yelled "Bell 4."
He said "What the hell is Bell 4?"
"More hose" she responded, "You ain't nowhere near the fire."